Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
those who don't know im an incest survivor at the hands of a sibling.
in english lit we're studying the revenger's tragedy.
we did a question answer group exercise, and i was castiza, the sister.
my teacher asked me as though i was the character
how do you feel about your brother
do you hate your brother
what do you think about your brothers actions towards you.
the characters relationship. is nothing like mine. but still those questions, to me. and ive not heard them before and i. just. cried infront of everyone.
and all i could think about was my life. and my brother.
and now its all back at the surface and i cant squash it back.
in english lit we're studying the revenger's tragedy.
we did a question answer group exercise, and i was castiza, the sister.
my teacher asked me as though i was the character
how do you feel about your brother
do you hate your brother
what do you think about your brothers actions towards you.
the characters relationship. is nothing like mine. but still those questions, to me. and ive not heard them before and i. just. cried infront of everyone.
and all i could think about was my life. and my brother.
and now its all back at the surface and i cant squash it back.
Childhood abuse whether its physical/emotional or sexual sadly is what makes or breaks those of us that survive it - dont let it break you and never let it define you
ive also taken to disowning his family connection.
the word brother makes me want to puke ,
can't believe its so widespread especially on these vulnerable forums.
lots more hiding out there still in too much pain and torment to even tell a soul :( x
its tragic that so many people understand i wish it was not the case x (hugs)
Don't allow this pain to destroy you, use it to strengthen you, to build you into the person you want to be.
Don't allow this pain to destroy you, use it to strengthen you, to build you into the person you want to be.
Don't allow this pain to destroy you, use it to strengthen you, to build you into the person you want to be.
Don't allow this pain to destroy you, use it to strengthen you, to build you into the person you want to be.
and thanks wiccan i will try to do just that x
Fast forward to now and it seems more like a part of me was amputated. I've learned to compensate. As far as a relationship with my brother -- I saw him for the first time in 10+ years at my daughter's wedding. My reaction was pretty flatline. I just kept thinking "Wow .... I know what a sick bastard you are even though you're doing a good job of pretending not to be."
As disgusting as it is, a good analogy of how to heal from what you experienced at a very young age is to think of the pain, anger, fear, hurt, etc., as a boil.
If you don't get it taken care of, it keeps getting worse. An infection that responds to your attempts to squash it back down by growing worse.
Until you lance the boil and get the poison out, you will never be able to heal from what your brother did to you.
Squashing it back is the worst thing you can possibly do.
What you need to do is get into counseling and, yes, 're-live' a lot of the horrible feelings that you so desperately wish to squash back. Ask and answer those very questions that were put to you in your lit class.
The bad news? It's almost as gut-wrenching as you think it's going to be. At first. You got a taste of that in class.
The good news? Once you deal with it, you do not have it squashed inside you anymore. You are no longer filled with infection. You take back your power. You learn to let go of so much of what damaged you. Your life can be so much better than it is now. Much better than you believe possible.
At least, that has been my experience.
Oh, yeah. And although I didn't consciously tie the two things together at the time, all my drug use served to temporarily make me forget about my life and my brother.
That's why I loved getting fucked up and why I stayed fucked up as much as I possibly could.
Your situation is worse than mine was. You still have to face your abuser with everyone acting as though nothing wrong, or of any importance happened.
That may have to change. And it probably should.
You are so ahead of where I was. You talk about what happened to you, to some extent.
I kept my pain and shame totally to myself and came very close to ending my life, rather than go on living with it.
I hope you will find a way to come to terms with your abuse. Maybe you can dope it out all by yourself. I couldn't, though. It was the therapy that saved me and taught me how to let it go.
((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
I am sorry for what you have been through and for me fighting the demons of my life are difficult but with every breath I take I win!
Peace.