Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Sooooo...I'm 27 and got diagnosed with Bipolar II about 6 weeks ago. I had been taking antidepressants on and off for a little over 10 years.
This fall was the worst depression in years...especially since the other areas of my life are fairly stable right now. I went to my regular MD and he put me on Effexor (150 mg) which worked extremely well...for a few weeks. So I had to actually go to a pdoc for the first time in my life.
I am grappling with the diagnosis, although not as bad as the first few day. My father and 3 of his sisters are very obviously bipolar I and have been on and off meds for years with varing degrees of sanity. So maybe I have that going for me in my diagnosis. Also I'm famous (or maybe infamous :) )in my family for talking really fast and not finishing any of my sentences before I go to the next. Very confusing for them none-the-less and I get very frustrated I'm not understood. I also have extreme mood swings, have a really bad temper (although I've really worked on it over the years), blah, blah, etc, etc. The weird thing is that I've noticed some changes I've been experiencing about the past year and a half that fit right in line with symptoms. I was very confused about these changes...until now. Strange to love learning and reading everything within reach and then suddenly read the same sentence over and over and not understand or keep my mind still enough to figure it out.
So maybe my pdoc isn't full of sh*t. I know in my heart that it is right and it feels good to know...but my head keeps getting in the way. I haven't had a full blown spending spree filled mania....so what's the harm so far....
...and I love the beautiful moments when I feel all of the connections in the universe. Everything is perfect. I see everything that is and has ever been. I understand the cyclical nature of birth, death and rebirth. I feel all of the lives I've lived before and all I will in the future. I see that time is a functional illusion while we are in this form because all of existence is cyclical and thinking of time as linear is more convenient when you have to be on time to a meeting. Why would I want to let that go? Is'nt this what meditation leads you to? Enlightenment.
So, my step-dad says that it is...but my brain just happens to have let me experience it by malfunctioning and I don't want to tip over the edge I am teetering on.
Just needed to vent. I am curious about your experiences. Hopefully the lamictal will keep all of my synaptic firings in line and the seroquel will quiet the vivid and continous dreams I experience every night....
This fall was the worst depression in years...especially since the other areas of my life are fairly stable right now. I went to my regular MD and he put me on Effexor (150 mg) which worked extremely well...for a few weeks. So I had to actually go to a pdoc for the first time in my life.
I am grappling with the diagnosis, although not as bad as the first few day. My father and 3 of his sisters are very obviously bipolar I and have been on and off meds for years with varing degrees of sanity. So maybe I have that going for me in my diagnosis. Also I'm famous (or maybe infamous :) )in my family for talking really fast and not finishing any of my sentences before I go to the next. Very confusing for them none-the-less and I get very frustrated I'm not understood. I also have extreme mood swings, have a really bad temper (although I've really worked on it over the years), blah, blah, etc, etc. The weird thing is that I've noticed some changes I've been experiencing about the past year and a half that fit right in line with symptoms. I was very confused about these changes...until now. Strange to love learning and reading everything within reach and then suddenly read the same sentence over and over and not understand or keep my mind still enough to figure it out.
So maybe my pdoc isn't full of sh*t. I know in my heart that it is right and it feels good to know...but my head keeps getting in the way. I haven't had a full blown spending spree filled mania....so what's the harm so far....
...and I love the beautiful moments when I feel all of the connections in the universe. Everything is perfect. I see everything that is and has ever been. I understand the cyclical nature of birth, death and rebirth. I feel all of the lives I've lived before and all I will in the future. I see that time is a functional illusion while we are in this form because all of existence is cyclical and thinking of time as linear is more convenient when you have to be on time to a meeting. Why would I want to let that go? Is'nt this what meditation leads you to? Enlightenment.
So, my step-dad says that it is...but my brain just happens to have let me experience it by malfunctioning and I don't want to tip over the edge I am teetering on.
Just needed to vent. I am curious about your experiences. Hopefully the lamictal will keep all of my synaptic firings in line and the seroquel will quiet the vivid and continous dreams I experience every night....
this sounds so familiar...the taling rapidly and not finishing sentences...the feeling of being one with the universe and all beings and things...and sadly, the deep, deep frightening and often hopeless depression, i think you have come to the right place tasteforp....i also think the meds will really help you and save you from alot of devistation.....take it from one who fought meds for way too many years.....anyway this is really a good place to be....i have found so much support and caring here, and am thankful to be here, and i'm sure you will too.....we're here for you tasteforp...hugs maggie
You know something funny maggie? My name on here is TasteForPhree but it doesn't all come up so now I'm TasteForP! Think people might get the wrong idea about what I am into? LOL!!!
And hopefully prevent the spending sprees and dangerous anonymous sexual encounters.
xoxoxo Jen
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"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.
To him
a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating." -Pearl S. Buck
That my friend is the truth. Btw, my name is Steph and welcome to DS. Hope you like it here and if you need anything just message me :)
Thanks to all!
LeeAnn