Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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My husband just told me to leave. I'm so freaking upset. He keeps telling me that I will eventually leave anyway because of the financial situation. His first wife left him because of that and found someone else...he's even dreaming about me leaving. I came in from the dollar store with some to and a few things and I got a two liter off brand cola but I was thirsty and grabbed a cold 1$ coke. I get home and he tries to steal my drink...I was king and said I'd leave but I meant leave the house if he wouldn't stop because he was tickling me which caused me to have a panic attack and start crying...I know crazy weird but I'm highly sensitive to tickling and sometimes it makes me feel out of control and panicked. He said I've had an attitude since I walk in....I'm giving him aggressive vibes.....OK. So he says just leave cause it will come to that anyway. What am I suppose to do?..I'm so upset and shaky...I called my mom but I don't have the heart totell her what's going on....she's got a lot going on herself. She's suppose to call me later. I never talk to her or anyone about our problems BC I never want those petty type arguments to cause ppl not to like him. I seriously don't think I have anywhere to go and if I can't bring my soko I'd rather die. I'm sorry for whining this is just so crazy....I don't know what todo next. Should I wait and see if he comes and apologize or what..or apologize myself...I'm so confused...
Take a deep breath. I think the best decision right now is to not make a decision.
I don't know what your financial situation is so I don't know how that plays into whether you stay or go. Are you working or on disability? What about him?
Do you have a therapist? You really do need to speak to someone about the issues you're facing. Your choice not to involve your family is good -- that just complicates things.
Do you love your husband and want to stay together?
What is soko?
Hang in there!!
It will be hard, but you can do it
Hugs
No insurance, no money, no therapist.
I love my husband I want to stay together.
Soko is my parrot...he is my baby..
Now he's come and asked me what I would do if he died...I say what do u mean he said you know....accident....cancer...but I know what he's saying he was wanting me to say I'd be OK BC he may be suicidal but he won't damn admit it to me or anyone else.
I am so NOT saying you don't do this already just an idea tht popped in my head
BabyShelby is right - the hardest thing is to DO NOTHING - no ultimatums, NO someone has to go... Try not to cry and beg, this might make him madder. You have to let him grieve, stress and vent anger too!!!
Your his wife, that is your home - if it was me, I would defuse this - I would suck up and kiss ass, offer food, say I'm sorry whether I was or not - I would do whatever I had to to Defuse the situation...
Men have feelings too!!! Yes, you cry when tickled, but that was a loving gesture and he was TRYING! He is Frustrated, way more than you, a MAN wants to be a provider and save his home and family..... we don't see this in our own pain.
The opposite of love is not hate or anger - it is indifference, neither of you are indifferent ((((BIG HUG)))) my twist on it, take what you like and leave the rest!!!!
I do agree with BabyShelby though. Now is not the time for either of you to make any major decisions. That's never a good idea when emotions are running this high. If you have it in you, you might try going to him and talking to him very calmly and asking him to share what he's thinking and feeling with you. If you can't do that right now, that's okay too.
Either way, give yourselves some breathing room and don't put any pressure on each other. When you've both gathered your thoughts and can talk rationally, give it another go. Good luck!
I do agree with BabyShelby though. Now is not the time for either of you to make any major decisions. That's never a good idea when emotions are running this high. If you have it in you, you might try going to him and talking to him very calmly and asking him to share what he's thinking and feeling with you. If you can't do that right now, that's okay too.
Either way, give yourselves some breathing room and don't put any pressure on each other. When you've both gathered your thoughts and can talk rationally, give it another go. Good luck!
However, I don't think tickling is playful. It can be used to abuse, dominate or humiliate. Obviously you are not enjoying it. So, while I would try to reassure him, I would make sure he knows not to put his hands on me in that way.
Good Luck. Hope you guys can work it out.
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It is an expression of passive-aggressive hostility.
Sounds like he's in a pretty bad way, no doubt, but it doesn't sound to me like you're doing a Hell of a lot better yourself.
That's fine that you want to help him, but make sure you're taking care that YOU don't 'go phlooey', too.
Urge him to seek help of some sort.
Calling his doctor would probably be best.
He certainly needs help in dealing with this.
If nothing else, do you think he would call a crisis hotline right now?
My daughter called the police on me when I was suicidal.
They came and tried to talk me into going to the hospital, but I wouldn't go.
But they spent a lot of time talking to me.
If it gets so bad that you're afraid he's going to do something right now, at least try that much. It may not help, but it's something, and maybe it will do some good.
Good luck to both of you.
What an unhappy time.
(((((Hugs)))))
He went and spent what little cash his dad gave him on beer and crown royal. He's never even been drunk before. He hasn't said anything elee about earlier but just talks about no matter if he does good or bad norhing good happens so whats it matter.
I think he's past the suicidal for now...me I'm just really depressed and want to take enough klonopin to zone out...but I'm not.
Man i hope you are having a better day than I am.
It sounds like you both have a tremendous amount on your respective plates .... plus way too much stress. I wonder if your hubby's mild depression has slipped into something deeper?
One of my friend's husband was laid off. I'm not sure exactly what his position was ... some type of mid- to high-level management. He is struggling so hard to find another job. But, in the meantime, he works his tail off everyday. He does landscaping, dump hauls, organizing, handyman-type stuff. He's keeping things afloat as they just built a new house.
Do you and your hubby have those types of skills? Maybe run a Craigslist ad for services and rake leaves -- anything to get a little change in your pockets.
Hang in there!!
We can just hope something comes through before its too late...
He's mostly concerned about his truck. It was given to him by his grandpa and he borrowed money on the title and can't make the payment.
THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT TO EVERYONE!!