Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
And I figured why not ask my buddies here for advice...
-----------------------------------------------------
What brings about change in the abuser?
I know the correct answer is 'nothing - cut and run'. But sometimes miracles happen. There's 1600+ members on this board. Certainly someone has a success story to share?
I managed to get my hubby into marital counseling, which is a huge step for him. But today we got kicked out (see my journal) cause he was not even seeing what the problem is. The thing is, the counselor was not even trying to make it clear to him. He relied on me explaining that abuse is unacceptable. But if my husband listened, we would not be in his office, right?
I don't think my husband is totally blind, just too proud to admit he's wrong, and too macho to admit there's something wrong with him, and to get treatment for his recurring depression (which is what I think made him abusive last year).
So... MEN: what could get you into treatment? What could get you to see a therapist? To change? What would get your macho(er) friends to change? WOMEN: What have you done that worked?
The only concrete advice I got was to withhold sex (from a male co-worker), and to lose weight (from my mom and a friend). I have a policy against withholding sex, no matter the reason, but we haven't had any in 8 months and going due to his work deployment and problems with a pregnancy. Then it just continued. I think I miss it more than he does. :(
But there's gotta be something else that worked? Or if one or the other worked for you, can you let me know?
-----------------------------------------------------
What brings about change in the abuser?
I know the correct answer is 'nothing - cut and run'. But sometimes miracles happen. There's 1600+ members on this board. Certainly someone has a success story to share?
I managed to get my hubby into marital counseling, which is a huge step for him. But today we got kicked out (see my journal) cause he was not even seeing what the problem is. The thing is, the counselor was not even trying to make it clear to him. He relied on me explaining that abuse is unacceptable. But if my husband listened, we would not be in his office, right?
I don't think my husband is totally blind, just too proud to admit he's wrong, and too macho to admit there's something wrong with him, and to get treatment for his recurring depression (which is what I think made him abusive last year).
So... MEN: what could get you into treatment? What could get you to see a therapist? To change? What would get your macho(er) friends to change? WOMEN: What have you done that worked?
The only concrete advice I got was to withhold sex (from a male co-worker), and to lose weight (from my mom and a friend). I have a policy against withholding sex, no matter the reason, but we haven't had any in 8 months and going due to his work deployment and problems with a pregnancy. Then it just continued. I think I miss it more than he does. :(
But there's gotta be something else that worked? Or if one or the other worked for you, can you let me know?
I do not think it would be good to leave the child unless you intend for it to be permanent. His lawyer would accuse you of abandonment. Sweet all of life is really mush easier when someone is not telling you cant do it. It took me 17 years to leave because I was only 17 when I got married and he always told me I could not do it without him. Will guess what Im doing better financially then I ever did with him and that not saying mush lol. I had a 7year-old son that went with me when I left and no it was not easy, we lived in government house while I got my education however I would have not ever gotten my education if I had stayed because he was afraid Id leave if I did.
My first marrage was hell for me. Mental very physical abuse. I left him. Many times. He would always come back saying he was sorry and that things would change. I left him and went back soo many times I just can count them.
Finally, I had to leave because it was my unborn child who was at risk. I almost lost him 3 times. The final straw as a beating he gave me in the barn. I left and never looked back.
I am not saying this is your situation. They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder though.
If its really bad, maybe some time apart would make him come to his senses.