Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I have a dear friend who is wonderful in many ways. I do treasure her friendship. She has a boyfriend that she has lived with for many years, and I can't stand the jerk. She makes excuses for his horrible behavior and will even lie to make him look like less of a jerk.
Me, being an honest and blunt person have told her what I think of him and why. She responds by pretending everything is fine. I don't want to lose her friendship. But it sure is hard to watch him get away with the stuff she let's him get away with. Sometimes it makes me cry in frustration. She has had glimmers of clarity about him on rare occasions when she was really really angry but she always gets over it and pulls a 180 on me and tells me he's really a great guy the next day.
I have bipolar and I tell ya, I really do say what I think, let the chips fall where they may. I don't know how this is gonna turn out.
Me, being an honest and blunt person have told her what I think of him and why. She responds by pretending everything is fine. I don't want to lose her friendship. But it sure is hard to watch him get away with the stuff she let's him get away with. Sometimes it makes me cry in frustration. She has had glimmers of clarity about him on rare occasions when she was really really angry but she always gets over it and pulls a 180 on me and tells me he's really a great guy the next day.
I have bipolar and I tell ya, I really do say what I think, let the chips fall where they may. I don't know how this is gonna turn out.
Be careful with what you say... but stay assertive as can be. That's a real tightrope situation, though.
Since you cant change her and dont want to walk away from the friendship I would make it easy on myself. I would be around her only when he WASNT around. I would steer the conversation away from him when he comes up in the conversation. I wouldnt bring him up in the conversation.
You will just cause her angst if you continue to berate him. There is some hold there. Do you know what the hold is?
Good friends for us are so good to have. I hope you can keep your friend. It IS hard to see other people under someone else's thumb or being used.
Hugs to you
Maybe tell her also you will only say it only once more but you think he is bad news for her and when she comes to realise it then you will be there to help pick up the pieces. Then drop it.
Some women prefer a crappy relationship to being alone. Maybe she is one of them.
I'm sure you will be good at swiftly changing the topic if his name comes up in discussion. Then she can stop feeling the need to defend him and stop trying to convince you he really is a good guy just misunderstood. Maybe then she can stop believing her own BS!
Good luck.
I was the boyfriend soon to be 32 years of marriage with my wife.