Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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Re-posting here since I don't think off topics will be view.
So, my husband's sister and her husband showed up with their great kids. We were out to dinner. First of all her husband was in what we call one of his moods. Really quiet, moody and not engaging in conversation, seeming like he didn't want to talk to us. At dinner, he went out of his way to tell everyone that I'm not a real adult and a child. I found offensive because he was saying it very loudly in a restaurant. He even made commons on my parenting in front of my kids. There are a lot of times I don't agree on how he talks or punishes his kids. I don't undermine him in front of them or say anything at all. Yeah, I shouldn't of gave my three year old the rest of his chocolate milk after his dad said no and left the table but he was crying and focusing on it and wouldn't eat. So I gave it to him, there was only a little left, and guess what he started eating his food cause the distraction was gone, and it was good calcium, so what. Moving on, for month he told my husband that he did block him on Xbox live, that it's a Xbox issue. Well, my husband was online trying to fix something and figure to add him using the computer and it said he can't chase this person blocked him. My brother in law use to like us, then he met these people with a farm and now he treats us like trash and an annoyance. I like his new friends, of course. I don't know why he changed. We didn't do anything to him and my husband sister is still completely her and the same. What happen?
Another thing: Sometimes he really nice to me, and lovey dovey as much as a brother in law should be. Other times, he picks at me repeatedly until I get upset. I do a great job at ignoring it, but after a few hours yeah, I tell him he is taking it too far and please stop. He doesn't usually stop. Or he likes to try and pick fights between me and my husband, which I don't let him. Oh and every time we are alone, he has to make comments about my husband not working and me taking on everything, he spends all my money ( I know what my husband spends, its barely anything and he plans things out to get the lower price, he likes to play games) and I deserve better. Last I checked, He is impulsive with his spending on crazy stuff he will never use like a crossbow- throwing away my sister in laws money for things like that and he gets all the new games at full price and lies and said he doesn't. um, Your wife just told us, for example. He doesn't work, both his step kids are in school full time, so he isn't staying home to watch them. My husband may stay home, but he is caring for our toddler- so we don't have to pay for daycare. My brother in law said he can't work because he was a so called disability, he can't confirm what it is when asked but won't go for disability benefits.
He is frustrating. I love him but come on, man. What is going on?
I truly dont think the problem is me or my husband- We try to let it go when he is like this and not ruin our times together. I just dont understand why he is being this way. He was on medication, he said so for anxiety. I wonder if there is something deeper going on. He only gave the medication a few weeks chance and then went off of them cold turkey.
So, my husband's sister and her husband showed up with their great kids. We were out to dinner. First of all her husband was in what we call one of his moods. Really quiet, moody and not engaging in conversation, seeming like he didn't want to talk to us. At dinner, he went out of his way to tell everyone that I'm not a real adult and a child. I found offensive because he was saying it very loudly in a restaurant. He even made commons on my parenting in front of my kids. There are a lot of times I don't agree on how he talks or punishes his kids. I don't undermine him in front of them or say anything at all. Yeah, I shouldn't of gave my three year old the rest of his chocolate milk after his dad said no and left the table but he was crying and focusing on it and wouldn't eat. So I gave it to him, there was only a little left, and guess what he started eating his food cause the distraction was gone, and it was good calcium, so what. Moving on, for month he told my husband that he did block him on Xbox live, that it's a Xbox issue. Well, my husband was online trying to fix something and figure to add him using the computer and it said he can't chase this person blocked him. My brother in law use to like us, then he met these people with a farm and now he treats us like trash and an annoyance. I like his new friends, of course. I don't know why he changed. We didn't do anything to him and my husband sister is still completely her and the same. What happen?
Another thing: Sometimes he really nice to me, and lovey dovey as much as a brother in law should be. Other times, he picks at me repeatedly until I get upset. I do a great job at ignoring it, but after a few hours yeah, I tell him he is taking it too far and please stop. He doesn't usually stop. Or he likes to try and pick fights between me and my husband, which I don't let him. Oh and every time we are alone, he has to make comments about my husband not working and me taking on everything, he spends all my money ( I know what my husband spends, its barely anything and he plans things out to get the lower price, he likes to play games) and I deserve better. Last I checked, He is impulsive with his spending on crazy stuff he will never use like a crossbow- throwing away my sister in laws money for things like that and he gets all the new games at full price and lies and said he doesn't. um, Your wife just told us, for example. He doesn't work, both his step kids are in school full time, so he isn't staying home to watch them. My husband may stay home, but he is caring for our toddler- so we don't have to pay for daycare. My brother in law said he can't work because he was a so called disability, he can't confirm what it is when asked but won't go for disability benefits.
He is frustrating. I love him but come on, man. What is going on?
I truly dont think the problem is me or my husband- We try to let it go when he is like this and not ruin our times together. I just dont understand why he is being this way. He was on medication, he said so for anxiety. I wonder if there is something deeper going on. He only gave the medication a few weeks chance and then went off of them cold turkey.
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
It might be time to either limit contact or at least learn to nod and grin and say all the crap ya want in your head!
What happens between you and your husband as far as the kids are concerned is none of his business. If you and your husband are on the same page about how BIL is behaving than come up with a way you both can be a united front around him and basically say thanks but no thanks to his opinions.
I don't have these issues with any of my in-laws and have been fortunate enough to have all of them. So I may not be on the right track in the advice area.
Good luck and be strong in your life and then he won't be able to cause unrest. Peace
He likes to get a rise out of people ... You mentioned you don't like the way he punishes his kids?????
He can be a jerk that's for sure
BTW I would be one of the people in the restaurant that was glad you gave your child the milk... You can't just leave a child crying when you're out for dinner ... Big hug....x
Anyway, They talked - My Husband and his guy. It seem to be find now. I get it he is going through some things too but Still. I am just going to carry on but keep some distance and try to stay light hearted and not take his comments to heart.