Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
This column is hard for me to write.But i have to inform everyone in this fantastic group.Brad was just recently disagnosed as bi polar and on 5/22/09 my boyfriend Brad committed suicide.All of this is my fault in a way.I was nagging him to get help because since the 8th of May...Brad started to drink heavily.He was drinking heavily for days and he wasnt eating.Brad started to drink wine coolers...(what are they?) I dont drink,smoke or take drugs...because I dont at all believe in this.I have seen what drugs did to a friend of mine during the swinging 1960s and i vowed that under no circumstances would I take this way.Brad started to take his medication with vodka.he was taking this high blood pressure pills with vodka..not to mention aspirina and he took some of my depakote.I tried my best to get him into rehab..but i failed.Rehab in seattle is 18,000 and they take cash,credit cards and private insurance.I tried.But on the 3 rd try..I found my Brad naked and in the yard.He had slit his wrists and he left me no note.And I dont have the money to bury him.He just left me with the rent money for 3 months and he told me before he died not to give up the cats and I promised him that I would sing again.Brad was in the bathtub of our home and he was talking rationally.He was just so unhappy and he was in and out of it.I tried that night to him help again.So if anyone is thinking of suicide and you feel it is the on ly way out..could you do me a favor? Could you think of the survivors? And stop this very selfish act and think..because Brad knew that I couldnt work nomore and that I was planning something big in October and he knew this and If I can stop someone maybe this has helpe d .
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
i am so sorry to hear this...and please don\'t blame yourself........please try to be good to yourself and gentle with yourself...you are both in my prayres....may god give you strength...and hope....and peace
and may brad find the peace he could not find here on this earth......Sincerely, maggie
I am so sorry again and If you need to vent you can PM me a long vent. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs
You did what you could and committing suicide was his choice- not yours. Once someone has decided to commit suicide- very very little will stop them. That choice is theirs, not yours and as such they are the ones who own it.
As for the burial- contact Catholic Charities, they have funds to help you bury your lost one. You are in my prayers.