Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Yup. I got a call from my case manager a few days ago telling me I am moving on Monday into emergency housing services. I'm so scared. This is me on my own. This is the point of no return.
I was feeling scared but awesome about it until I spoke with my uncle who in a round about way called me lazy and also said he didn't think I was bi-polar. He said some people use it as a crutch. Hes who attitude on life is work for what you get. Which I understand. I just don't have the skills to do so yet. He also said something like, "Before you run again." Saying to make sure I can do it. He doesn't understand. He made me feel like I'm making all of this up. He made me feel like I could be doing better. That I'm wrong.
I've worked my whole life trying to make others happy but I've also had everything handed to me. I never really got the emotional support in a healthy way. But every time I push myself to work, go to school- or whatever- I've always had mental break downs. I get overwhelmed so easy and I just give up. Am I giving up on life by doing this? Or is this a fresh healthy start for me? I want to not be lazy! I want to have good life skills and be able to support myself. No one fucking see that. I just am so scared to try anymore because I've failed so many times in the past.
Now I feel lazy and use-less. Maybe I am just lazy. Maybe I will never amount to anything but some fucking welfare case.
I was feeling scared but awesome about it until I spoke with my uncle who in a round about way called me lazy and also said he didn't think I was bi-polar. He said some people use it as a crutch. Hes who attitude on life is work for what you get. Which I understand. I just don't have the skills to do so yet. He also said something like, "Before you run again." Saying to make sure I can do it. He doesn't understand. He made me feel like I'm making all of this up. He made me feel like I could be doing better. That I'm wrong.
I've worked my whole life trying to make others happy but I've also had everything handed to me. I never really got the emotional support in a healthy way. But every time I push myself to work, go to school- or whatever- I've always had mental break downs. I get overwhelmed so easy and I just give up. Am I giving up on life by doing this? Or is this a fresh healthy start for me? I want to not be lazy! I want to have good life skills and be able to support myself. No one fucking see that. I just am so scared to try anymore because I've failed so many times in the past.
Now I feel lazy and use-less. Maybe I am just lazy. Maybe I will never amount to anything but some fucking welfare case.
It isnt easy with this disorder and we have set backs and delays in progress. However, you can do it, and do it just for you. You dont have to prove anything to anyone else.
xo
Now hear this, young lady: You hold your head up and Get Out Of There. Move to the emergency housing.
It's kind weird, like I've said before, but your family members actually have a "need" to be in control of you. When you were far away for awhile, they could push all the "stuff" that happened, to the backs of their minds and temporarily "forget" it.
Now that you've been home, if they can get away with treating you like always, the real "issues" are Still hidden away, and don't threaten anyone - in their minds.
But how are you going to grow, and figure out who you really are, and deal with things - if you don't move?
Believe me, I know it will be Hard for you. And stuff will come crawling out of the woodwork once you are in a place by yourself. But you Need this, to move forward in your life.
Hold your head up, Shlay. We're cheering for you.
*hugs*, Mary Anne