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My MIL is 55 years old, and she is Acting like a child. Because her son confronted her ( without any yelling or being mean) Just talked to her about her problem like a normal person would. She is ingoring me, him and my son, won't talk to us, or pick up her cell when we call. And during all this confronting doesn't even involve me and my 4 year old.
She started blaming me for the problem, because I got her, a male kitten for christmas ( One cat) that is fixed before she started collecting them like crazy. She got the rest of them- and accepted two from her son in law. So I am going to find homes for that cat, since its she is blaming me, again for everything. ( Its her favorite past time. I can have nothing to do with it, Like her hoarding and she throws it on me )
So I am solving the problem that she is saying I caused, if she likes it or not ( BTW- before I got her the kitty, she already had 2 cats. I was trying to make her happy, bad idea)
So I am looking for a good home for 3 of the cats, with pet owners that can care for them properly. If she likes it or not, these cats are going to new homes. That 3 gone, 4 left. ( she has proven she can't take care of 4 or more cats, so our goal is to find home for the others once these 3 are okay. ) I am not going to be paying rent to a new landlord for a nice place, to just let it get destroyed by her animals, and cause me to lose another 3,000 dollars from the security deposit.
Its just frustrating, she is being such a child about this. Her problem is coming between her and her son. As a mother, I would never chose Cats over my son, no matter how old he gets. All Talon is doing is making sure, our new place doesn't become like our last 3 places- cover in cat piss, and ick. There is no way, we can keep up with her 3 cats. Talon is great at cleaning, but he gets so overwhelmed by the mess they make daily, he has given up. He doesn't want to become like that with the new place. Plus, all these cats can get us evicted, if the landlord found out about them and if they mess up his property and Then I will loose another couple thousands, I put up for the security for this place.
So This is my issue of the week. YAY. Not.
(( SIDE NOTE, THE HOUSE IS NOT HER HOUSE< we share expenses. We pay our own way, I even paid the move in fee, and security whenever we move. I buy the furniture and tv's and the big stuff like the dinning room set is mine, that her cats piss on) I am sick of my brand new stuff getting ruin that I buy, so we all live in a nice environment!
Geez. LOL- Life.
I really think she has mental illness of her own, she denies...
She started blaming me for the problem, because I got her, a male kitten for christmas ( One cat) that is fixed before she started collecting them like crazy. She got the rest of them- and accepted two from her son in law. So I am going to find homes for that cat, since its she is blaming me, again for everything. ( Its her favorite past time. I can have nothing to do with it, Like her hoarding and she throws it on me )
So I am solving the problem that she is saying I caused, if she likes it or not ( BTW- before I got her the kitty, she already had 2 cats. I was trying to make her happy, bad idea)
So I am looking for a good home for 3 of the cats, with pet owners that can care for them properly. If she likes it or not, these cats are going to new homes. That 3 gone, 4 left. ( she has proven she can't take care of 4 or more cats, so our goal is to find home for the others once these 3 are okay. ) I am not going to be paying rent to a new landlord for a nice place, to just let it get destroyed by her animals, and cause me to lose another 3,000 dollars from the security deposit.
Its just frustrating, she is being such a child about this. Her problem is coming between her and her son. As a mother, I would never chose Cats over my son, no matter how old he gets. All Talon is doing is making sure, our new place doesn't become like our last 3 places- cover in cat piss, and ick. There is no way, we can keep up with her 3 cats. Talon is great at cleaning, but he gets so overwhelmed by the mess they make daily, he has given up. He doesn't want to become like that with the new place. Plus, all these cats can get us evicted, if the landlord found out about them and if they mess up his property and Then I will loose another couple thousands, I put up for the security for this place.
So This is my issue of the week. YAY. Not.
(( SIDE NOTE, THE HOUSE IS NOT HER HOUSE< we share expenses. We pay our own way, I even paid the move in fee, and security whenever we move. I buy the furniture and tv's and the big stuff like the dinning room set is mine, that her cats piss on) I am sick of my brand new stuff getting ruin that I buy, so we all live in a nice environment!
Geez. LOL- Life.
I really think she has mental illness of her own, she denies...
Remind me why you all share a house?
I hope you didn't interpret my question as being judgmental because that's not my intention at all. I apologize because I couldn't remember your circumstances. Sometimes I have a little trouble keeping everyone straight on here. I'm sorry.
Finding good homes for the cats sounds like a great idea. Sorry you're on the other end of your MIL's wrath.
"So I am solving the problem that she is saying I caused, if she likes it or not "
I know it's natural to get pissed when someone's blaming you for something you didn't do, but what you plan to do in response to it
is cruel and rather childish, too. Part or all of your motivation is to strike back at her because you're mad at her.
I think you can be better than that.
You say she has mental illnesses of her own and if she IS a hoarder as you suspect, then that's a mental illness, too. And that's what's motivating her to behave as she does.
Please. How about showing her some simple, human compassion?
If you know about hoarding, you know that what you plan to do to her, or in spite of her, is probably going to make her panic and be extremely upset.
And what you say here makes it sound like you don't even care that it's going to be terribly, terribly stressful for her. The only important thing here is that you get to have the house exactly the way YOU want it.
You've mentioned a couple of times that you are paying your share (and then some, in a couple of instances), but you don't seem to count the fact that SHE is paying her share, too!!!
What does paying her share get for her? What say does she get to have in what's being done?
It looks like you are so focused on her and what she's doing wrong, that you aren't paying any attention to how you are behaving.
I don't really want to say something hideous to you, but I think I'm going to do it anyway. Being on the outside, looking in at your posts (and speaking only for myself), you come off looking pretty bad yourself.
Your attitude is as though you were paying for everything, she is paying for nothing and you are going to have your house the way exactly how you want it, come Hell or high water. As though it's totally your house.
It's not only your house. It's hers, too.
Don't dismiss what I say on the grounds that I don't know what it's like to live in a house with too many cats. My aunt and her family had about 20 cats. And a dog.
The minute you stepped in the door, the ammonia smell burned your nostrils and made your eyes water. Cats everywhere!! Under tables, on tables, on the stove, on the couch, everywhere. I think they had 4 litterboxes. It wasn't enough.
I get that it's horrible and frustrating and maddening to live in the conditions you are and I can see why you so desperately do NOT want to live like that any longer and especially when you're moving into a nice, clean, new place!!
I still think your MIL should be allowed to have at least one cat. I think it is very uncaring to not give her at least that much, in her own home (just as it's your own home, too.)
You seem to have made up your mind that everything is going to be done how you want it to be done.
I'm not too crazy about that attitude, but so be it.
If there are to be no pets for her and she has to fit into everything the way you want her to, at least try to do it all as kindly to her as you possibly can.
If you are the one with all the power and all the say, then you don't need to go to battle. You've made your mind up about what's going to be done.
Do it with the knowledge that this is going to be horribly traumatic for a mentally ill person and do everything you can to make this easier on her, not harder.
Good luck with everything. Your dislike of her seems very intense. It's a shame that you all have to live together.
Just ignore it.
I can just picture you saying (in Roseann Roseannadanna voice) "Oh .... nevermind." I love vintage SNL.
Yeah!!!!! That's exactly what it was like!!!!
Oh, if only it had said in the original post that no opinions were wanted!!!!
What I said was not wanted and I could have saved myself a LOT of time and thought, LOLOL!!!!!
Sigh.
Well, thankfully, this isn't something that happens very often!!!!
A cat infested environment is not healthy. A woman who does not or cannot care for them, cannot be excused on the grounds of mental illness. That's like saying a murderer who is a psychopath should not be put in jail, but allowed to keep on with his murdering, because he is mentally ill. (OK, hyperbole - exaggeration for effect!)
I think getting rid of the cats is the right option. I love cats, and it is not fair to the cats either. They need a home with proper care, not to be the victims of this MIL's neediness. Any animal lover would agree with that. They do take animals away from people all the time who are not being cared for. That is what Fairy is trying to do. The MIL might get help, if she is forced to live without the mess and the cats.
Letting this mess go to a new place, is called "enabling" the MIL to continue to live in a disgusting place - mental illness. This might be the shock she needs to wake up and get help.
Remember, I been dealing with this for 6 years. Its gets old.