Hey guys. Thanks everyone for your support. Today I have a follow up with my PCP and the plan is to get her to sign off on my medical leave paperwork and make a plan for when I will return to work, she doesn't know I've alreadybeen out for a month and a half....also she has agreed to set up the testing I'll need in order to start taking lithium again. I couldn't sleep at all last night so I am exceptionally exhausted today and I just want my PCP's support, I have already been through such a dark time I hope she won't make any more remarks that will make me feel worse. 

My body won't even tolerate the lithium long term, once I get to like 700mg it will give me severe muscle spasms. But I figured I would try to use my window of tolerance (300-600mg) as a jumping board to get some meds in my system until we can figure out a better plan because I really loved lithium the short time I could take it. Also I read you have to be careful taking ibeprofen on lithium, so hopefully my migraines will stay at bay because ibeprofen is the only thing that works for them. 

As I've shared before it's been a long few months and I just hope this appointment can be a positive step towards recovery, and not just another challenge. My husband will come in with me but he worked last night and will be exhausted so he might not be able to be much of an advocate. 

I'm afraid my PCP will try to push me back to work before I'm ready. It's mostly the sleeping problems and trouble concentrating that's still hanging on from this depression that I want to remedy before I do that. Technically on FMLA I still have up to another month and a half I can take. I obviously don't want to leave them hanging but I want to make sure I'm ready before going back. The trouble concentrating is always the last piece of depression that hangs on so hopefully finally getting on meds to remedy this agony will set me on the path back to work sooner than if I keep waiting.

Thanks for reading, hope yall take care and have a nice day!