Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
so i havent been officially diagnosed.
this is the story of my life but sometimes it helps to just vent about it on here.
i feel odd being on a support group for an illness im not 100% sure i even have.
one minute i am making the most ridiculous decisions, duct taping my mouth closed because i am irritating myself with the constant stream of utter drivel coming out of it. irrelevent and the words tripping over each other.
the next i am struggling with the effort it takes to talk at all because i feel so tired and exhausted and want to sleep my life away. talking is pointless.
all the way through the first stage of blind unconsciousness i am some what blinkered and dont consider realistic consequences. i only see this on the down ward spiral to the lowest of the low. where i mull over my mistakes and i feel guilt and reproach and, realise how stupid i have been. im constantly aware of how shit i feel. i wish i could feel nothing instead of EVERYTHING. nothing would be so much easier.
my symptoms and life experience seem to indicate bipolaric tendencies but, i know sometimes these symptoms can overlap with
extraneous events such as my past childhood abuse etc.
its so hard to be unsure, i know that i need medication to some extent.
it must be hard to swallow a diagnosis as serious at bipolar. it must shake the foundations of the earth for you. but
at the same time i wish i had something stable in my life to rely on - i.e the understanding that this is an illness and just me.
i am incredibly unstable i cant rely on myself, i never know where i will be in a few weeks or months time. flying to the moon or sinking into the depths of the earth, and i cant handle this anymore.
this is the story of my life but sometimes it helps to just vent about it on here.
i feel odd being on a support group for an illness im not 100% sure i even have.
one minute i am making the most ridiculous decisions, duct taping my mouth closed because i am irritating myself with the constant stream of utter drivel coming out of it. irrelevent and the words tripping over each other.
the next i am struggling with the effort it takes to talk at all because i feel so tired and exhausted and want to sleep my life away. talking is pointless.
all the way through the first stage of blind unconsciousness i am some what blinkered and dont consider realistic consequences. i only see this on the down ward spiral to the lowest of the low. where i mull over my mistakes and i feel guilt and reproach and, realise how stupid i have been. im constantly aware of how shit i feel. i wish i could feel nothing instead of EVERYTHING. nothing would be so much easier.
my symptoms and life experience seem to indicate bipolaric tendencies but, i know sometimes these symptoms can overlap with
extraneous events such as my past childhood abuse etc.
its so hard to be unsure, i know that i need medication to some extent.
it must be hard to swallow a diagnosis as serious at bipolar. it must shake the foundations of the earth for you. but
at the same time i wish i had something stable in my life to rely on - i.e the understanding that this is an illness and just me.
i am incredibly unstable i cant rely on myself, i never know where i will be in a few weeks or months time. flying to the moon or sinking into the depths of the earth, and i cant handle this anymore.
Yes the dx of bipolar shakes your very core but with it comes answers and solutions.
i really wanted to avoid offending anyone, i guess its a sensitive area for the board if im undiagnosed, i cant really speak at all because ive not been through it all like you have, thanks for the support.
its a long journey i guess. i am young and have a lifetime to make more fucked up mistakes x
Sorry, for your struggle and problems - but not all of us, feel apart and feel doomed, because we are Dx - I for one, appreciate knowing if I have an issue, whether bipolar, high blood pressure, diabetic or cancer. Not knowing, or getting worse? I prefer NOT in 2012....
cant help but feel lonely when im the only person i know like this. x