I'm sorry, monarch. Most, if not all, of us have a "history" of irresponsible behavior (ahem: downright Stupid behavior) due to our illness, and it often makes us feel Really guilty.

However, most people with mothers that said THAT, need therapy to get through it.

And the mothers need a reality slap. And maybe a Sound lecture on what Not to say to their kid.

Hi monarch, so sorry to read what you are dealing with. I know how hard it is to face behaviors, as you have stated, they were not really in your control and "if" you had received medical care immediately, some behaviors may not have taken place. As far as Mom is concerned, try to use "I feel" statements, I feel I take my meds, get help from doc, do what I can around the house etc. I'm sorry you feel the way you feel...I know I'm doing the best I can today. What is in the past can not be changed, only learned from, move forward and try your best for a change of behavior...that is all you can do...you Mom sounds like she has other concerns...and maybe her issues are being passed on to you because your sisters are not at home? idk...best of luck and take care of yourself...learn all you can about bp and self-care. ml

Big hug for you Monarch..... That's a really cruel thing to say to you ....It's wonderful to try and make amends however it's just as important to have healthy boundaries for yourself..... xo

I'm sorry such harsh words were said. ((((hugs)))) of support to you.

Thank you for all the warm wishes. it really does help my mood when I revisit this.

Monarch, I'm so sorry. What she said was horrific. Unacceptable for any parent to say about anyone. My mother gave up on me at 14 and decided she would mother my brother instead of me. I left home. There just wasn't any love for me. Strangely enough, some 30 years later, we get along just fine. It's not "Mother & Daughter" fine, but it's a unique bond. Sending love and light to you.

Just know that it is never right for a parent to be so cruel; I know that feeling all too well. Big, big hugs to you!

Ouch Monarch!

Many of us have had difficult times growing up because our illness was undiagnosed and misunderstood ...

Fast forward to today. For our own well being we need to make peace with the past and set healthy boundaries against those who wish us harm. Easier said than done...

Dwelling on this stuff will drag you down further...how can you make peace and go on? Gentle hugs and good vibes for letting ant go and going on....

I am in awe of the support and good vibes I am receiving means a lot to me!!

Obviously she is WAY out of line saying something like that to you. I always have unfounded feelings of guilt, and I can't imagine the impact that a statement like this would have on me. It is absolutely unfair that you had to hear that come from your mother's mouth.

But I think it is important to understand her point of view and understand why she would say such a thing. It must clearly come from a stance of ignorance, she doesn't know what it's like to be you, and maybe in the slightest defense of her, you don't know what it's like to be her.

I can stop and think how difficult it was for my parents and my brother and other family members to learn and accept that I am bipolar, but my empathy for them quickly turns into attention to my problems.

Sure it sucks really bad for our family members to put up with us, it really does. But guess what sucks more.. being US! If she really had that feeling, she should have discussed it with her friends or other family members, not blurted it out to you. It's horrible that she said that to you. Sometimes people say things they don't really mean in the heat of an argument or discussion, and it sounds like this sort of slipped out. I doubt she planned or thought out saying that statement to you, and I would hope she feels bad about it.

I don't know how your relationship is with her but maybe you could discuss how hurtful that is. I don't think you asked to be born, with a mental illness among 3 sisters. Maybe your mother should have just had one kid if she wasn't prepared to care for a child with a mental disorder along with other siblings. See where I'm going with this? You cannot logically feel guilt for her decisions. Please remember that while moving forward. :)

/rant

oh my god, i am so sorry you had to hear such awful words from your mother. at least you have the insight to be aware that it is not true as your three sisters are 'well adjusted' happy human beings so try not to let those words reverberate around your head. she obviously spoke unfairly at a bad moment without any thought for the impact on you. good for you for not letting it drag you down. you may never make sense of it as the was no sense in the comment so try to let go of it and regain that space for a bit of peace in your own head. hugs

Benitro-

that guilt is what drove my post. Being bipolar is not a choice. Your handed this deck of cards and you have to play the game there is no out......the behaviors and collateral damage is something families and friends should try and move on from. I am healthy today and that was a choice, I am also making the choice to chalk this up to ignorance as you said. Sometimes our loved ones own insecurities and baggage is very easy to dump onto 'the mentally ill' member of the family. Totally not right but sometimes a very harsh reality.