Hanna, can you bring him to an appointment for your son with your son's doctor so he can hear it from the doctor? Or is there a teacher or someone else? Maybe he just needs to hear it from a third source. What about finding a book or a pamphlet that talks about dealing with a child suffering from a mood disorder?

*HUGS* I hope you are able to get this through to him.

Maybe he should spend time on parenting books, rather than focusing on a disorder....

http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/changing%20parenting/tryingnottoyell.html

Thanks RIT and Perx. I'm going to save that article too. Thanks a lot.

The only way you will BOTH understand how to raise him with BP is to attend therapy together about it. I did not raise my kids any different from each other and two have BP Hanna...........they still have to learn right from wrong and responsibility. I am not sure how he is treating him that you think should not happen or I might be able to address the question differently.


Parenting is parenting and while you can use other skills to work with him, rules still apply.

xoxo

I completely agree Shelly. Rules ARE rules and they do apply to him. I just think that maybe he should try different approaches...I'm not sure what. I just know that the way he approaches him is different from the way I approach him and my son reacts much worse to his ways than to mine.

I just don't know what to say to my fiance, and how to tell him to try something different and what different thing he could do.

While your intentions are good Hanna, it's hard to tell someone they need to do something different if you don't have an idea how they could change.

Do you think you could describe how the two of you discipline your son differently?

A good conversation about it is a start Hanna.....if your approaches are working and getting the proper results, then I would think your fiance would understand that. Men and women parent a little differently as do my husband and I. If your son thinks he will get away with things with you, he might act more receptive.

Just make sure you are getting the results you desire either way. My two BP sons did much better with schedules and routines than anything else. Maybe if you have routines for him to follow, It will work better.

As for discipline, it is best to agree about how to do that. There is always going to be a difference in how your son responds to your fiance because he is not his father, (or is he) , sorry, I didnt ask.

Communication and having a plan is your best approach so you both agree with how to do things and there isnt arguing about it in front of your son. If you disagree your son will know it and play both sides against each other.

xo

The thing is that I react calmly, and my fiance gets very frustrated very easily. I'm sure my son can tell that my fiance is frustrated and angry and my son gets more stressed and lashes out.

I think that's the difference. He's not his father, but he's been more a father figure for the past 3 1/2 years than his own father (his real father is not in the picture at all).

Thanks for all of your replies!

Patience can be difficult with children, bipolar or not. It might take him time to learn how to keep his cool. :)

Hanna, I think that patience with children is very important and especially with those suffering with BP. I, unfortunately dont have that gift. :::smile:::......I think the best way is to sit down and talk to your fiance. I am sure your son sees him as his father if his father is out of the picture. The best you can do is express how you handle your son and that it get the outcome you are looking for. Ask your fiance to have the same patience with your son as he has with you. Make sure you are getting the proper outcome though, it will be important to his developement. xo