for me it always seems like i realize how manic i had been after the fact and the depression always feels worse.
I haven't landed myself in jail, but I had a severe bought of depression that followed my manic phase. In that time I lost my job and my apartment. I am finally back on meds and starting to feel better, but Im living at my parents house and if i get a job i loose my state benefits.

I guess my point is that you are not alone. I am new to this site, but already it has made me feel better.

these people will help and give support. hang in there!

Sorry to hear your story. I was sick in April too. I go psychotic too. It is scary. It was my shortest stay yet...10 days. The last three trips were three weeks each.

My first manic episode in 2003 I was in and out of hospital for three months. Mostly in. But they finally got me on the right combo and I got better. I was then depressed for a year. It has got better each year. Just work with your doctor. Give meds a few months to work then ask for something different if its not working.


Good luck!

Been where you are in the sense that I've had big catastrophic manic episodes with the severe depression afterwards & the fallout & devastation of your life, everything you value.
It will take time..you are going to be feeling crappy, it's natural after all that's happened.& also perhaps there is an element of grief, disbelief?
.but it DOES pass.
Accepting you are in a bad state & are going to see things in a very negative light for a while possibly could help? Take it day by day.
& take your meds! ha. Something that really helped me when I was in a similar mess was to just get myself to exercise..even if just lifting weights for 5 minutes..or walking, running..it sort of distracts you & numbs things for a while, I found. I also really believe I would've been severely depressed much longer if I hadn't done so.
& things do change, too.
BTW- you are not alone - a lot of people get in such predicaments when unwell...if you care to read a good book about this- 'Crazy- by Pete Earley- it's very good, non fiction.
Good Luck x

I just got out of a horrible depression that followed a manic state. I have struggled to keep my head above water and I have gotten much better. It just seems that before I started taking my meds my episodes would get worse everytime with psychosis getting even more severe. I am as stable as I can get now but I am so fearful that its going to come back again and the next time I dont know if I will be able to fight it. But I press on and cope everyday. Just keep hope and life will get better. Its going to take alot of time to heal but you have to be patient with it. Good luck and I hope you get through this troubled time very soon

hang in there honey , it will get better , have you been to the doc to see bout your meds ?
its a horrible tough journey , but you gotta ride with the rollercoaster untill you find some way of bringin your moods onto some sort of an even track xx

Oh & ruminating & all that so come with the territory..I have heard before that post-psychotic depression is as severe as it gets. Go easy on yourself, you've had a hell of a year..most people would be freaked out to experience all that. & be kind to you, too!

Thanks for the feedback. I am taking meds and they definitely help the psychosis but not the depression. The last time I had depression they gave me meds that launched my manic again so I don't know what they can do for me now. I seem to feel "better" when I am able to be around family - don't feel stable to be by myself - I get jumpy. Haven't tried the exercise route yet - can't seem to make myself move - feel like I'm in molasses just going through the motions of life. Hard to even shower and/or eat unless people I love are around me - it's been a real strain on them.

I'm sorry to hear that MMP1. Try not to be too harsh on yourself- you just got very, very ill. It's understandable to be afraid about the future, but you can't change the past. Try to think about what small steps you can take to slowly get things back together. It may take a very long time, but don't give up on yourself.

You know who I find inspiration from lately? Robert Downey Jr! That guy was all over the map several years ago- driving around nude, arrested for heroin posession, broke into a stranger's house and took a nap- generally acting crazy.
But look at the guy now!!! He went from heroin addict- a place that some people just never recover from- to being totally buff (in 'Iron Man")
I'm not saying we've all got that kind of resilience, just that sometimes you never know what the future holds and you never know that you could be a lot stronger than you thought.
Take care & hoping you get better---

I truly feel for you and can imagine what you are going through. I know it doesn't make sense - just yet and maybe never, but this too will pass.

Unless your doc can help you with the depression, it seems nearly impossible to get out of the funk - but you will. Try to focus on the good things in your life, your dad seems to love you and cares, that's positive. I understand the struggle - I think we all do. I look back on these manic/depressive episodes in disbelief too. Let's press on: Yes, we can :) Honestly.

I've ended up back home with my parents too, in a bit of a mess and feeling utterly out of control. Just wanted to add my sympathy really...