Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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HannaHana 08/19/2009

I've been feeling pretty down lately. Only just recently have I noticed my "routine", which doesn't allow me to live much of a life at all. I spend most of my time doing things that I don't communicate with other people. I sew, paint, do crafts...all stuff that's me by my lonesome. I don't enjoy doing the things that I used to, and find no reason to stay awake at night. So I take my bed time meds very early so I can just get the day over with.

My fiance is probably wondering why he wants to even marry me. I don't do anything with him anymore. I'm not living la vida at all. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere, nothing. I really need to find a way to get up the motivation to start living life.

Anyone with me?

deleted_user 08/19/2009

i understand though i find the sleep thing difficult. your fiance is with you because he loves you. motivating yourself can be a real up hill struggle but keep fighting.

solidarity to you.

x

deleted_user 08/19/2009

i'm with you hanna. the only thing that motivates me is my ocd and having to do my rituals. once kidlet goes back to school i don't know what i am going to do.

deleted_user 08/19/2009

DH's vacation ends Saturday which means he has to go to work Saturday night and then DS goes back to school (college) on Monday so I don't know what I"m going to do. It is worrying me slightly. I so need a routine. I've also taken my ambien just to get the day over with. My sleeping schedule is all messed up due to the vacation now though.

deleted_user 08/19/2009

First of all, your fiance wants to marry you because he loves you...

About the feeling down, maybe a med tweaking is in order and your pdoc could help. It might help bring back the joy in your life.

ZanyBeeper 08/19/2009

Feel better soon Hanna!! Hugs.

deleted_user 08/19/2009

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND...THAT'S THE WAY I AM USUALLY...BUT RIGHT NOW I'M THE TOTAL OPPOSITE...I WANNA BE AROUND PEOPLE AND SOCIALIZE...I KNOW THIS WILL SOON PASS AND I WISH IT WOLDN'T...
MY HUBBY HATES WHEN I GET LIKE THIS...HE WOULD RATHER ME SHUT OFF FROM THE WORLD....

HannaHana 08/19/2009

I know my fiance loves me. I'm just afraid that he's going to look at our lives and think he can do so much better...which he probably could.

I hate not having joy in my life. I keep trying to find it in doing things that I once enjoyed, but to no avail so far. If only I could just have a little happiness. Just a little, itsy bitsy piece of it....maybe then I can look at my life as having purpose.

The kids do go back to school next week. Just 6 days to make it through until my entire routine changes and I'm home alone for the days.

I'll keep fighting, I've been fighting a long time, and I'm tired...but I'll keep trying nonetheless. Thanks all.

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