"We all have holes to fill.
"Them holes is all that's real.
"Some fall on you like a storm.
"Sometimes you dig your own." ~Townes Van Zandt (To Live is to Fly)

Oh my, yes, I get that feeling. Sometimes I don't think I ever lose it, though I don't obsess about it on a good day. Pleasures don't fill it for me, though. Pleasures barely even distract me from it, not even the exotic Five Star variety. The closest I have come to losing that empty feel is when I was able to bring moments of peace to a troubled spot.

Admitting to myself that I can't always structure or cope with my time is important. I think since today is the first day of my weekend.. and "FREE TIME" - I think it's a transition from the workaday structured week. I don't really know what I like to do in my free time except go for walks and what I mentioned above. I am not the regular hobbyist like some are - I wish I felt more like that - and maybe more safe to be like that. I think in order to balance the 'responsible' side of things and also the freetime I'd like to find some fun and expansive things that are free or near free to do. I'll start a list! :)

I've been struggling with depression for a while to Marky....I think when in this state hopelessness is part for the course...Have you gone to any more of the Meet Ups sweetie ?....
Good for you making an effort to help yourself....big hug...xo

Yeah I get that. I just sleep to avoid life now.

Money doesn't help me, unless I'm mentally strong enough it goes into impulsive shopping.

Meditating and just being present and accepting is hard but worth it some days to lift my spirit.

thanks guys! just took myself for a drive to the nearby town 7 miles away.
I walked around the outdoor shopping mall and looked at holiday cards.
Didn't buy anything but the air was crisp and just being around 'life' was fun. :)
Have a really pleasant night.

Yes, it happens more than I would like and I too, depend on the TV. My problem is that I completely lose my appetite. Both can be bad, eating too much and not eating enough.

Sounds like you might be coming into a manic state. If you notice yourself changing and you get that type of "slow change" warning, you need to contact your Pdoc and make a meds check appt. When I'm getting manic I clean over and over and over again, and organize, and drive my son crazy! lol I hate food and don't really like to eat, so food is never something that brings me pleasure. I eat apples and yogurt each day, that's it.

Volunteering would be fun.. then again I should talk. I rarely go and actually meet people face to face. I do like a good DIY project though. :-). I think too much free time can be kinda not good for some people. Maybe read a book? I have an Android tablet with the Kindle application on it. Many books are cheap and free. Have a nice Sunday everyone.

Hi Mark,
Personally I find structuring my own time difficult...I admire others who have jobs because of the structure that gives....Sounds like you had a good idea going out for a drive. I do that just get out and it helps to be around different energy...

Too much free time is a toughie for many of us...reaching out helps so does time spent in nature.Glad you came here to post....

thanks MayB I really appreciate your kind works, reflection and support. Have a good Sunday Night!