I totally understand.

I am what I am. Or am I?

Thanks ksmimi. I guess I just feel confused and frustrated with a bombardment of advice I don't feel like I don't know how to apply in my life.

There are a lot of schools of thought on "positive thinking". Some believe that the more you tell yourself something, the easier it is to believe it. A sort of "brainwashing".

I like the "choices" method which is part of EFT. You identify a situation and the emotions involved in it and you CHOOSE to handle it differently.
Example...."I feel worthless because I don't have the energy to take care of my family right now". but..........."I choose to realize I have an illness and I will do my very best to do what I can". or, "I feel so frustrated and lazy because I am so tired all the time" but...." I choose to try to accomplish something each day that will help me feel better about myself"

Identify the emotion and what is causing it and choose to understand it and do something positive about it. That way you are not ritually reciting phrases you do not believe but you are understanding what motivates the emotion and CHOOSING to do something positive about it. Make sense? xo

I talk about this with my therapist alot! It takes alot of work to change this negative view we so often have about ourselves. I've learned that the best way I learn is by SEEING the words in front of me. My mind gets racy alot and it seems almost impossible for me to come up even 2 words to make myself feel better at the time. So I browse the internet looking for sites that have positive affirmation type things and even guided meditation.
www.dbtselfhelp.com

Has some really neat things to read about that I've been trying to apply to my life and make it better, you may want to check it out. I hope you find something that will help there. ox

The "brainwashing" method is just totally ineffective for me. I really wish it worked for me though. I've actually been using the choosing method although I didn't realize that it's actually a "real" method. Huh, interesting. It helps me choose the right course of action but I hasn't change how I feel just how I act. Thanks for the info Shelly, I think I need to google EFT now and see what it's all about, lol.

I think so. x

Yup i totally understand, 'they' say positive thinking can do you wonders, & i know that but some days its impossible for me to do.
All the best sweetz
HUGS
dee =o)

I completely relate to this one. When I first started therapy the phrase I was hearing was, "Feelings aren't facts". I know that means that my feelings are out of proportion to the situation, but to me that meant that my feelings were false. Now I just say that my insides don't match my outsides. I know that I should believe some things but I just don't feel it yet. I'm not quite there. Hang in. You'll get there. It might take time, but eventually you'll either believe it, or believe that it's a bunch of bunk. Either way, you'll believe something.

CammieCat,
I love the "my insides don't match my outsides" part. I've felt like that my whole life. It's nice to hear it from someone else. :-)

Dee,
You're always so supportive and understanding. You're awesome.
Hugs to you too
Crystal

Reply 3, especially when reply is not granted

I don't believe anything anymore

can definitely relate. there are things that my brain has known for years but cannot seem to communicate to my emotional core. for me, thinking is the knowing part, and believing has more to do with feeling it through and through.

as for the 'how'...sometimes it seems to take as long as water wearing down a rock, and other times it seems as quick as a lightening bolt...it can be repeated meditation...or a single event...

and some things...obviously...i'm still working on...

i would say...for now...

keep hope alive that it is possible to accomplish...

this loving yourself thing...

and go from there...

xx, beep.