I was in celexa zyprexa lamictal trazodone and ativan all at one point. I cut down as I feel better but I've been whereyoy are. I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for my family supporting me. I just took two weeks sick leave and my mom has been paying my bills so yeah. I don't have any advice for you but to say hag tight. Xoxoxo

Take one step at a time. Make a list. Prioritise things. Start at the top and work one by one through them, making sure you take your meds and get rest. Thats all I can think of to say other than to wish you the very best with this business.

Yes, been on that many meds and more actually....when I began having "Amnesiac Dream States" and cutting in my sleep...the worst was 47 stitches. Soooo...yes sometimes it takes a lot of meds to make your brain stop destroying yourself...sometimes it takes detoxing off the meds, in the hospital and starting fresh...kind of like "rebooting" your brain, I've done that too. 28 years of BiPolar and the brain can get used to and irritated at all the meds sometimes. Have you ever talked to your Pdoc about rebooting in a safe place, like a hospital?

As for how you feel and work...you're being really hard on yourself. I get that work is important, I do...I work, I'm the only one that supports me and pays my bills and sends my son living money at college and my older son living money because he's not working right now while he's wrapping up his final EMT classes at the Fire Academy....my ex-husband is a jerk who thinks kids become unattached reliable adults at 18 and therefore his parental responsibilities become nothing more than being a fishing buddy....really a jerk.

The thing is if you drive yourself too hard, too fast, doing too much...you won't be able to work anyways because you will crash. Bills will get paid one way or the other. Social Services will help with main things like rent and utilities, non-necessities can keep the panties on and live with getting paid when they get paid. Churches also have Discretionary Funds to help folks in the community having a hard time, there are resources out there to help with $$$ things.

My point in all of this is....if you need to take some time and get your feet back under you, then take the time, like Moob says, one thing at a time, slow and steady, make sure your getting rest, getting food, taking your meds and do some things to help yourself relax, hot baths, deep breathing exercises, a nice walk if its cool outside where you live....sometimes you have to take some time for you, because that's the most important thing, you are the most important thing.

Take care,

I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time sweetie... I think you've been given some good advise so I'll just give you a big hug.....xo

Thanks all. They ends up taking me off the Abilfy I was getting to a point where I couldn't function at all. Regular pdoc Felt they over medicated me so he took me off of it. He then gave me the choice of trying partial outpatient program or going back into the hospital. So I started the outpatient program. It is really tough . If I don't feel any better in the next couple days we are going to go back into the hospital and do a med reboot. I talked to my boss and he says he will work with me but I haven't talk to HR until Monday to see what reality I can do I have vacations are at least get paid for four weeks after that I have no clue. Even if it's a new company I still I'm covered under FMLA so it's not like they can fire me

At this point I'm just struggling so you do day by day sometimes is our by hour minute by minute

Well you have a plan. That's good. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Xoxoxo