Call a crisis hotline, mush.

How about http://www.samaritans.org/ ?

Of course you shouldn't take more pills. You know that probably no one here is going to recommend that you should.

I can see why you've had it. You've made so many efforts when it comes to getting the proper kind of help and you've been turned away every time. Or received so-called 'help' that was worse than no help at all.

Do you think if you go to the hospital now, tell them what you've already taken, that you are tired of life and are planning to keep taking the pills until they are gone, that they will do something that will help you?
If so, do so.

I wish I could tell you something that would help you mush, but there really ain't that much to say.

I feel sad that you are tired of life and can't get the help you need.
I'm worried about what harm you are doing to yourself and what danger you are putting yourself in.
And I hope that you decide not to take more pills and to hang in there again, for the umpteenth time. (((((Hugs)))))

:(

carla i just cant go no more.

i just cant do another day

yesterday. life was so possible. today its just ended

im so confused its 1am i am on my own who will help me

my sister hates me.

First off.. I don't think you want to die.
Secondly, I think you have an overload of emotional pain.
Third, I think you are scared.

All of this okay. It makes you human. Everyone here is hurting from something. Thats why we are here. Thats why YOU are here. Vent, let it out. No one here is going to judge you. We understand not being understood and feeling alone. The thing is, with all of us not feeling understood and feeling alone, makes us not alone. Because all of us here are going through it.
I agree with Carla, you need to call a hotline or seek advice. You have a shoulder to lean on here. But she is also right in the fact that you shouldn't take anymore pills.
I don't know what you are going through. But I still wish you the best. Please don't take anymore pills
*BIG HUGS*

This post is reaching out. If you really wanted to die, you would not have asked for help. (Well technically you are just telling us what you are doing, but I HEAR you asking for help!!)

DS is not working well, so I hope my encouragement comes through, but only once.

You are a wonderful person. It sounds like you feel very alone and abandoned. We all go through stages like that. But that does not mean we need to take our lives.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I care, and please call a distress line. We can only do so much on-line.

As for the sister, bad days and good days with families. My sis and I were best friends as my father was dying. Now she calls me out for everything SHE thinks I am doing wrong. Like raising my children. WTF?? My kids are all grown, raised and have good jobs and happy marriages. That is her issue. I'm just not going to allow her to brow beat me anymore. Or anyone else.

Sometimes just a misunderstanding. Don't let depression talk you into this. Instead fight back. I'm praying for you.

Hun you will not die with that amount of valium but you need help and you need help right away. You should go to the hospital and let them know you are suicidal. You need treatment. You are going through so much pain and you can't do it on your own.

this hurts my heart to hear you are hurting. i hope you are ok.

Awww, mush. Sigh.

Hang on for 5 seconds, mush.
And then hang on for 5 more.

As unbearable as it is right now, it won't stay like this and it WILL get better (yeah, I know -- only for a while.)

I know the feeling, though. It's just too much to endure. You just can't entertain the thought of continuing on like this. It's too horrible. It's the very worst feeling in the world.

It's a lot to ask, mush, but please stay. Not just here on the board with us, but in this world. Please don't leave.

You've got so very much to offer and if you will just stick this out, you'll be in a position to do so.

I'm sorry for every crappy thing that's ever happened to you and I'm sorry you're struggling so hard right now. You deserve so much better than you have gotten. I so hope that changes. (((((Hugs)))))

i'm so sorry you're suffering so badly. (((hugs)))
please do not take any more pills.

I would like to be able to help you....but all i can say is that i know and understand where you're coming from....i too feel suicidal....i have the means....but keep hanging in just in case things get better......i can't promise that they will get better....but you will get temporary relief from time to time...if you want to chat let me know...i'm here for ya! hugz x

Mush, I hear your pain I really do. I have been there many times and was there again just recently. I know you feel no one cares and no one is listening but they are. My relationship with my mom, brother, sister etc. sucks. They are far away and we don't speak because they don't listen or understand. I have my sons who love me dearly and my friends her on DS and for now that is enough.

You want the pain to stop and all the bad shit going on in your life, I get that but hang in there.

I agree with Carla call a crisis hotline take it 5 seconds at a time and then repeat and repeat again.

Please don't take anymore pills. ((((((HUGS)))))))

You are important and your life is valuable.

You matter Mush. People love you..and that is apparent here.

Please get help.

I have been where you are more times than I want to admit so I understand how it may seem like the pills are are the only way to stop the pain.

Trust me when I say you are going to have days like today where it dos not seem like there is no other answer, but if you can hold on you will get those days where you are thankful to still be here and eventually they begin to out weigh the bad ones.

It's obvious that there are a lot of people here that care for you very much and want you to know how cared for and loved you are. Please be gentle with yourself and remeber you will always be a specal person to many on DS.

Please don't take anymore pills and seek help to get you through this.

Sending you love and hugs

Mush...........I am so sick of this life, and I want to leave it as well, although, you CANNOT. You are young, you have your whole world ahead of you, you are a very smart and very kind person, I know this from our many previous conversations. You need to get a diff. med dr. I know you just meant one, and that was kind of fucked up, you need another one. You said your sister hates you, mine does too, I have noone either and I am married and my husband could give a shit what I go through. Mush, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE, call anyone you know, that amount of pills will only make you sick and you will have to go to the hospital and get your stomach pumped. I feel so frustrated, you are oceans away from me and if I were closer I would come over, give you big hugs, and hang with you until this passes. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, your life is just beginning, it WILL get better. PLEASE Mush, hang in there. You are such a sweet person. Please. Message me if you wish. Much Love and I am praying for you honey. Jen

I'm sorry you are in pain and hurting. I've od-ed myself x 3, once on valium... Its pain that drives you to the edge. I would encourage you to get some help. I can tell you have come a long way. You can learn to cope with college too. You can get through this dark time. Don't giv.e up.