Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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jellybeanmusic 07/04/2011

I'm 16 and have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 (including the psychosis involved with type 1).

My psychiatrist prescribed me abilify in late February time but i didn't get on with it at all. I ended up a lot worse and in crisis called CAMHS where i spoke to my old therapist who wanted me hospitalized... though i managed to avoid it. My specialist (CAMHS adolecent mental health specialist) changed my psych and this one prescribed me seroquel.

Now, i've been taking it one and a half month by now (aprox) and i.... well. I stopped seeing things, delusions are gone, as are my intrusive thoughts. My moods are still a little up and down but not half as bad as they were. I'm sleeping well on them (i missed one dose once and didn't sleep a wink that night!).

But the thing is... i just don't feel right. This doesn't feel, normal to me because all i've ever known is me being up and down n here and there and seeing things n having delusions and everything else... I guess i don't know how to be 'normal'. I don't know what a normal emotional reaction to something is. How do i know weather its over the top, just right or understated by far.

Either way, i can certainly say i'm not happy. But i'm not depressed either. I just feel kind of numb and emotionless.

I don't know weather this is better, to be 'stable' and emotionless... or to be all over the place and actually feel. I can't make my mind up whether i like the pills or not. Whether i like the effect they have on me or not.

Any suggestions as to what i can do about this? Or any insights on anything? Or advice, or information. Just anything really.

deleted_user 07/04/2011

Because you are still so young and have so many things going on with you right now that is not related due to BP I think you should bring this up with your parents and Pdoc. I had some bad experiences when I was put on meds as a child and teen. So I don't think that I can give you any solid advice on this. I can say that I was better off during my teens w/o meds just because of the strong side effects I had. But you might handle them better than I did. You could also make a list of the pros and cons and present it when talking to your parents and Pdoc. Hope this helps you some. Best of Luck to you!!!!

veryblue 07/04/2011

In the pill's sense I'm the opposite to you I like abilify and don't like seroquel
but I have the same experience with the abilify I feel so normal sometimes it's weird
I think I've became more introvert as-well and I'm not as spontaneous as I was

veryblue 07/04/2011

I did'nt have a dx till I was 30
and in a way I'm glad i've not been taking these pills so long !

Lithium also made me feel flat and emotionless .

good luck with what you decide
hugs

deleted_user 07/04/2011

It can take on average a year MINIMUM before you see the desired effects of any medication. I tried Seroquel for 3 months, but due to severe weight gain and acne, I switched to Lamictal. I, too noticed that while on Seroquel I felt very blank, emotionless. I wasn't happy, sad, angry etc I was literally nothing. I also got confused very easily, which irritated me greatly. It affected my memory and basically made me feel like a zoned out zombie basically.

What's your dosage?

jellybeanmusic 07/04/2011

Only 100mg modified release.

tommymott 07/04/2011

I think we have to look at more than our feelings or how we perceive our moods. I like to go by how I function. Give things some time. A month and a half isn't much time to be using a med and there will be adjustments to it but those are things to take care of as yoiu go along. It sounds like you have some wonderful people to help you. Treasure them. I guess we all have our own idea of what "Better" is. For me, knowing that I'm not strapped to a bed in the psych ward means things are better, no matter what else is going on. (last time I was strapped to a bed was in 1977 so that's a whole lot of better) You get to decide what's better for you,
so go for it!

veryblue 07/04/2011

it could also be that you have a higher doses than you need ?

CarlaBent 07/04/2011

I say talk to your Pdoc, but be prepared to give the Seroquel more of a chance, too!!!

The point of treatment is to make you feel (and behave) in a more stable fashion.

All or most of us have to get used to a 'new' kind of normal for ourselves. We may have to give up some of the 'fun' feelings that we're used to, but hopefully we also escape from some of the much less pleasant ones. And the dangerous ones.

I don't like the thought of you never feeling happy!!! That's not acceptable to me, as far as my meds go!! I have stopped taking -- with my Pdoc's assistance -- meds that made me emotionless and moved on to other drugs that suppress all my feelings.

Seroquel's pretty good stuff though, for a lot of people!!! Maybe a change in the dosage would allow you to feel emotions without sacrificing the positive things it's doing for you!!!

My best advice is to be really clear with your Pdoc about the downside of Seroquel so far and to let him know that it's not acceptable to you.

You have a right to expect to feel a certain amount of happiness in your life!!!

Good luck!!! I hope you find a way to be both happy and stable!!! (((((Hugs)))))

Carla

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