Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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inkspring 07/02/2018

Hi everyone. I'm wondering if other folks with bipolar find themselves with the same difficulty I have. I find it very difficult to socialize with people. I get tense and try to dig up things to help carry my end of a conversation and I draw mostly blanks and the conversation ends fairly quickly. It is the same with people who I'm friendly with and who want to strick up a friendship -- I am a good listener to their end of a conversation but when it comes to my end I come up with blanks. I lead a pretty quiet life, am not involved in anything outside of home except for church and church activities and find it easier to live this way. I become tense and anxious with other people. I joined a ladies bible study group and it takes effort on my part to make myself go. I know I need to socialize but it is very difficult. Is this part of bipolar anxiety? Is the effort just exhausting and creating the difficulty? I don't know what to make of it. It's always been a problem for me. I'm not depressed - this is a problem when I'm not depressed. When I'm depressed I avoid people when I can. We have been invited to a 4th of July gathering at a friend's house and I want to go and yet I don't. I will have to mingle. I'll feel overstimulated or almost overwhelmed and yet I will force myself to stay for my husbands sake. I find socializing difficult. We have a coffee bar with snacks in the gym between the first and second services at church where people can connect. My husband loves this time to meet up with lots of people. I go there and quietly hang out and maybe connect with a couple of folks but our conversations don't last long. I'm trying to break out of this shell but its very difficult and very uncomfortable. If it wasn't for my husband who is very social, I don't think I would try so hard. Is it just me or does anyone else find it difficult, uncomfortable or overstimulating or whatever?

MOMBI 07/02/2018

Yes,it's a trait that bipolar people have. I am outgoing and a talker...and I have 0 friends. I can't find people that think alittle deeper than what they are cooking for dinner, or weeding their garden... when I do find someone that thinks a little deeper than that....they are extreme, and way out there... Difficult to connect with people when you have bipolar.

CatinMichigan 07/02/2018

I'm bipolar and I've never had a problem having or making new friends. I don't tell new people that I'm bipolar till I feel safe and trust them, though.

SunCloudJD 07/02/2018

I have some problems with a social anxiety as well now..... I don't look forward to doing social activities

This started many years ago for me however I was very social for a long time

What I did what to get out and about was to get involved in different types of volunteer work....

. It really helped me by feeling good about what I was doing at the same time I was interacting with other people regularly

I also was able to get involved with involved with things that I really cared about and felt passionate about and spend time with people interacting...… talking and having common things to discuss

It really is a win/win …… Big hug......xo

SullenKitty 07/02/2018

Maybe it's just that you're an introvert?

I also struggle with anxiety but my biggest anxieties come from certain people/places/situations that trigger me and not socializing or making friends in general.

beckyp 07/02/2018

I have social anxiety along with BP. I'm not as bad as I was before therapy though. I had gotten to where my mind was literally blank and I couldn't think of anything to say nor did I have the desire to talk. Recently I had to discontinue the Abilify I was on and I started a new med called Rexulti. Now I'm thinking again, I want to talk, and it's just not that hard anymore.. I'm far from cured, but I'm much better. The abilify made me flat and I'm glad I'm off it. I think it's great that you go to church and at least try to socialize.

acuriousfish 07/02/2018

It's not a trait of bipolar people although it can be hard to keep the same group of friends if you don't have the disorder under control, like you have real normal friends and the out there party friends and neither likes one pole of your moods.

Me, I suffer from social anxiety possibly as part of my autistic tendancy so I don't find it easy to make or even want friends.

nowstillhere 07/02/2018

I do too have a hard time socializing and mingling past a superficial level. Sometimes I just feel like damaged goods that I have nothing to offer, other times my mood swings interfere with a lasting relationship, and I don't like talking about myself because of the wreckage my illness has caused...I also feel most people can't relate to a lifetime of illness while I have a hard time relating to a lifetime of normality.

Sunshinegirl0228 07/02/2018

Ditto. I recently saw a quote “I am an introvert who gets adopted by extroverts.” I don’t make friends, people adopt me. I get so anxious around people. I am afraid of them judging me. Afraid of not having anything to say. It sucks.

urbangardener 07/02/2018

There's a book that might be of use called How to Win Friends and Influence People. The trick is to ask people about themselves. Don't talk about ourselves. Ask things, about their cars, hobbies, kids, etc. Maybe they say they have a new truck, so you ask what is the best thing about your truck? Then comment something positive about them based on their answer. I am an introvert and don't want to be around people all the time. I sometimes have to remember to ask people about themselves, draw them out, instead of focusing on myself and how I feel. There a secret that people who think you like them will like you. Human nature. Con artists use this to manipulate people also!

SensitiveHoboLady 07/02/2018

It really depends. I work in the public so I am forced to interact with strangers all the time, which is most of the time enjoyable because I have become very natural at it. But outside of work? Sometimes I’m at ease and other times I feel awkward and anxious. Sometimes I’m just not meant to ‘click’ with someone. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bipolar trait but just Human....

It’s great you’ve found a church home. I’ve heard of more clergy learning more about mental health conditions and I think it’s a wonderful move toward compassion and understanding. Other groups too can help us out of the social anxiety times. An art group or knitting circle. Book clubs, history. It helps when there is a common interest because I just think sometimes social anxiety makes it hard to be ourselves, because there’s this mental health thing we’ve experienced. I hope and pray you can keep reaching out socially and you can find a connection with some wonderful people nearby. If you feel overwhelmed in a social setting, sometimes just a sincere smile can put things at ease.

MrMojoRisin 07/02/2018

impossible

i have no interest and no interest in even trying anymore.

inkspring 07/03/2018

Thanks for your replies. I do try the technique of asking folks about themselves but I run out of things to ask. My brain doesn't work that fast anymore. I don't know if its my meds--I know they have dulled my thinking to some degree.

chris138 07/03/2018

When I was younger, I had less of a problem making friends. Maybe I was less hung up on things? Dunno. Now a days, I just maintain old friendships via the Internet and phone. My old friends have moved away from where I live.

Sometimes I miss having someone to meet in person at places, or when I take roadtrips..I miss having a travel companion. But I do most things by myself. Dunno. As I got older, I am having a harder time making actual face to face friends.

chris138 07/03/2018

Also, when meeting people face to face, I find that I can talk for about 5 mins...then "run out of steam". I then have less things to talk about. Dunno.

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