Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I got out of the hospital Dec 23. Suddenly lately I'm longing to go back. For that structure and support. Is that nuts? I don't know...it was way fuckin boring but I felt safe from myself there. I couldn't stay in bed there. I hadn't had a problem thinking about suicide until recently, when I heard an old classmate killed himself. I can't imagine actually doing it, cause i really don't want to die, i just want the damn plummit to the bottom to stop and its just not...it plateaued briefly...and here I go down again..
Whenever I've tried to do it in the past it was an impulse and I had someone to grab the knife out of my hand, take me to the ER etc.etc...blahnlah..but I wasn't thinking...it was a split second decision, i found myself standing there doing it impulsively. That scares me. I didn't wake up and plan it I went for it, and thats so dangerous to be like a loaded gun able to go off at any time.
At point do you know you should go to the hospital for your safety if you are like this?
Whenever I've tried to do it in the past it was an impulse and I had someone to grab the knife out of my hand, take me to the ER etc.etc...blahnlah..but I wasn't thinking...it was a split second decision, i found myself standing there doing it impulsively. That scares me. I didn't wake up and plan it I went for it, and thats so dangerous to be like a loaded gun able to go off at any time.
At point do you know you should go to the hospital for your safety if you are like this?
I guess it all depends on how bad those thoughts get if the impulse seems to come about more often..guess im lucky for me its just a little flash that i know is me being retarded and i continue on
Im reallly bad when it come to go to the hospital call..there been many times i should have gone and didnt cuz im tough like that(such a lie)
I am going to tell you from personal experience, one of my best friend's who was BP commited suicide this fall in a very violent manner, and it has changed the way I view life/death. After what his family/friends experienced, I would never want to put my loved one's through it. I will never get over his death as long as I live.