I can relate to the things you are saying. I too like to spend money recklessly. I too am searching for some normalcy after years of being all over the place. I never was one to take medication faithfully. I now have a psychiatrist that to me at first all I thought he was trying to do was push medicine. Our visits are brief and specifically targeted towards that. What I can say is I have realized with Bipolar I think medicine is the best treatment for it. I am now on 80mgs of Latuda and 25mg of prozac and although I am not fully where I hope to be there is hope that I am somewhat getting there. Unfortunately it seems most doctors and psychs dont really seem to really have the capacity to fully give us the therapy we need. I understand counseling doesnt seem to be an option for you right now do you have a friend you can talk to or possibly journal. I myself am not currently in counseling but I do know having someone to vent to is really beneficial. Sending hugs.

Big hug for you by..... A lot of what you talk about is money management when you're hypo

I would try to not have your money as accessible so that you really have to think before you spend

I would get rid of any credit cards and maybe have a close family member hold your debit card if you're able to..... Leave yourself the money you need for the month including some for your crafting and then no more... If you don't have the ability to buy it ... it should change for you

If you don't think that your NP is effective I would ask for a pdoc referral ... They are experts in psych meds

Big hug......xo
I'm sorry that you're struggling with stability ....I struggle with overspending as well at times but I need to be cognoscente of potential necessary bills like the vet or dentist etc so I have to fight spending for the sake of spending

I get a little addicted to spending. I'm sorry you're going through that. I try to focus on the here and now, accept where I am and what I have. Just grit my teeth and resist the urge. I usually end up finding something to eat or something to do (whatever it is I was craving.)

It's a little messed up that they are giving you meds but no one is talking to you :/ I know you said you've had bad experiences with therapists... I wish you could find a good one though. They help a lot with staying grounded and having structure, just being more self-aware.

Sending you love <3

Hey girl, have you tried your Mental Health resources through Social Services if your insurance doesn't cover any actual Pdocs in your area's? I doubt your NP is going to be much more help than she's been at this point and your sensitivity to so many meds makes treatment difficult.

Most County Social Services departments have a Mental Health division with Pdocs that treat on an income or disability based scale. There might be a waiting list but you could at least get the process started and get on it.

I don't know that you'll be able to get "discharged" from seeing a Mental Health doc, BiPolar doesn't tend to go away to a stable enough point to not need meds or med management for folks like you and me and our complicated histories. I've been doing this for 31 years, and I'm considered pretty stable, but I still have to see my Pdoc every 3 or 4 months for med management. I doubt that will ever change...because if I didn't or stopped taking my meds, that stability would go away in a heartbeat.

I'm not a "Therapy" person either, you know that about me, but I just had to bite the bullet and start back up a month ago....sometimes its a necessary evil, until you work through whatever has things stirred up.

You and I also deal with radical loss of sleep, and that can be medical as much as mental, so getting a good check up by your regular Dr., bloodwork, hormone levels, etc. might be a good idea. When you don't sleep it throws off all your body chemistry and its really hard to be stable.

I know when my sleep disorder is out of control, which it has been for the last couple of months, its a lot harder to keep the manic side in control.

Just some thoughts....

I hope you can find some coping mechanisms.
Keep coming on here and venting!!!!

i go to a private clinic i guess you would call it they have a lot of docs and np and therapists but the way they assign clients sucks some asc cept medicare alone or medicaid alone or both and for some reason they have to accept thde both together i am going tp ask to see the doc instead of the np if i cannot change np really they are all the same and after years of no change there is little to do or say that i have not heard before or worked on before

i really do not want a med change anyway i have the best of both worlds this has happened before and worse and i always came back better

so the hypomania and mild depression is bearable most of the time all has stopped for now gearing up for round 2 ;p.; thanks guys

Hey bywena, hope today is going ok. What other kind of services does the clinic offer? Now that things are opening up are there any groups you can attend? Getting a little bit of structure and schedule can help.

As for spending, do you ever write down your purchases? Write out a budget? Is there someone on your medical team who could offer guidance or point you in the direction of guidance? Sometimes telling a professional forces us to change habits - just by articulating it. Sending hugs.

all good advice have to start with talking to a pdoc may do me some good has been a while but they mostly oversee meds and crisis which this is rapid cycling is really getting out of hand and i am unable to predict them like i was rest time stop crafting too much feeds the high and the high drives the disorder so will see if they say therapy is needed then i will try again we shall see where i can be fitted in with appt