Just goes to show you better watch how you treat people bc it could easily be you. I would listen to her if she wanted to talk about it. Maybe she'll get a better understanding of you from it but I understand the mixed feelings!

Wow, of course you don't know how to feel!! I think you did the right things by telling your sister that you are there for her. It really shows what a kind and caring person you are...a lot of us are because we know suffering.

It's OK to not know how to feel. No one here is going to tell you how you should feel, only you can come to that conclusion. It may take time, and that's OK too. You sound like a really good person. ((hugs))

It's so difficult when our family members don't understand. I try to talk to my family but they don't understand my pain. I'm grateful for this support group when I have nowhere else to turn.

Nods Nester.

Boy, sadie, I really like that response -

"It's OK to not know how to feel. No one here is going to tell you how you should feel, only you can come to that conclusion."

Beggarseam, you are certainly Validated in Remembering the pain you felt when your sister did not help you, but Hurt you instead with her lack of understanding.

One thing I do know: It is when a person falls to their knees, when they are finally Affected/Afflicted by something - in this case, the panic attacks and physical difficulties that go with them - that they begin to SEE things in a different way.

I'm sure that she SEES now, some of what you go through. She is Vulnerable to the emotions that go with her "new knowledge" of it.

You have the opportunity to swing the pendulum Either way, simply by what she Sees when she looks at you now. When she Turns to you with a new humility and wants to Know how to feel next, both for herself and for others.

What you decide to do with your feelings, how you Choose to react now, may push the scales Down upon her, so she hates both herself, the illness And others who would leave her vulnerable; or you may just tip the scales Up, so she finds hope and courage and Compassion for herself, you and others down the road.

....All that said....it's still Hard as Hell to put aside our own hurt feelings and do what's Right. Yep, hard as hell.

So I hurt for You today, as well as her.

That was then, this is now...

I always believe in cleaning my side of the street - not worrying about peoples words or choices, I have no choice or responsibility for!!

I choose to do better, be nicer and more understanding - I believe totally in - instead of demanding others understand us, why not see their frustration - wanting to fix us and can't?


Resentments rust the container - you are only hurting yourself, never good when we have sick brains!!!! Do the next right thing - my motto : ) ((((BIG HUG)))) I know it sucks, but you can be and do BETTER!!!! Take care of you, let go of resentments - unconditional love is what we want, well lets try and show people how its done : ) LOL ok, my theory anyway : )

Beggarseam,
Saintly people (I'm told) would forgive the hurt in the moment and only look to help others.

The rest of us have to grapple with hurt feelings and resentment and question if we are able to help without redress for the past. You reached out and are willing and I hope your sister reaches out too. I'm sure there is a support group on DS which you could recommend to her.

Just being there for her...if she needs you...could turn your relationship around. It's never to late for love to work it's healing magic.

I'm sure you'll do what's best for you first and being the bigger person is a good start. Wishing you both much luck.

you are so much the better person here...even with mixed feelings. hugs...and an ear for You if you need one...

sometimes I wish that certain members of my family would have a similar experience even if just for a week.

Family is really important when they're supportive; when they're critical is causes relentless confusion. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!