It very well could be. It sounds like you grew up without a support system and people constantly picking at your self esteem. You can work on that now and build it up! You are not your disorder. You are worth so many things and you are perfect the way you are. Don't let anyone tell you different. Focus on you and block everyone else out and work on feeling like you have self esteem. A great way to start is positive affirmations in the morning in the mirror.

Your story sounds so much like mine.. My mom mostly had just depression but was also a snob as she put it. A lot of bullying and emotional abuse as well as rape and physical sexual abuse. Don't let anyone, ever, tell you that you are not a good person and don't let anyone, at any time, judge you!!!! You are amazing, never forget that, as my status says... Hugs

Thank you both. Hugs

living with negativity can be a major trigger but when you recognise it you can do something about it. try reading 'the mindful way through depression' it is one of the good ones or 'a savage god' by A. Alverez. plenty of hope to be found within those pages. think of how amazing you are to have survived all of that. hugs

Having constant negativity as you grow can definitely effect your self esteem. It can cause anger and frustration and depression issues. It can affect your stages of growth and development.

Unfortunately, BiPolar Disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Is a Mental Illness, a medical condition and cannot be caused by environmental factors. If you've been diagnosed BiPolar, you need to either accept it and start learning how to live with it and your daily life, or get a 2nd opinion if you don't think that the Diagnosis is correct.

Talk to your Pdoc or Therapist about your early struggles, it helps to work through them and understand truly that the things that happened in your life were not your fault nor under your control. It helps to journal and write all the negative stuff down, getting it out of your head, so you don't think about it constantly. The goal is to try and put the past in the past and start a new beginning, a future where you accept yourself for who you are.

Take care.

When my BP therapy started shifting to PTSD therapy, there were some brief discussions about officially changing the dx. This was at the VA. They take their officials seriously.

"Why?" I asked. "At the very least, PTSD is an experience of extreme swings."

Besides, I picked up some very effective tools from that BP therapy and do not want to be ashamed of where I learned them.

In short, I believe agree with you, Jen. There is more than one single factor at play here.

Certainly personality disorders and things like PTSD can come from upbringing but bipolar seems to be more genetic thing. Current theory is that it is genetic but there is an environmental trigger that causes it to suddenly appear and that could be down to your experiences.

I had a pretty idyllic childhood - but there was bipolar / schizophrenia in the family on both sides. The bipolar appeared when II left home at about 19 and went to university.

Big hug for you sweetie... I agree with what others have said... nature or nurture... It seems like it was a combination for you.... I also agree that you can change some of this with some work... Are you seeing a therapist?...xo

thank you everyone. I am seeing a therapist and I've learned a lot about myself since I started.

Glad you have a therapist Jenn I can only echo what others have said most of which is pretty right on. Many of us have the same issue....it's hard hon but you got to love yourself!

i echo that, you are lovable!