I feel like this when i am totally depressed. I line up my bad drugs on the counter with liquor and razors. I write out my letters. I play the scenario over and over and over again in my head, then finally My head hurst so bad I ll take a walk or klonopin or just call someone I can dump on and sometimes it ll go away a bit. Its called having the upper hand, having resistance. You are still in control

I don't really know what to say, I have dealt a lot with these same problems and have had at times to let them run their course. You definitely need to see your t-doc and let them know whats going on. If your on meds maybe they need to be tweaked.

I wish you kind thoughts and hugs during this struggle.
Hugs

I feel the same way! the lastcouple of days have been bad for me. I feel like I can't take whats going on in my head. It keeps me up at night. I was up talking to someone on here bout it til late last night cus I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I'm scared to tell people what is going on in my head. I know it's not right. It feels obsessive. just know you're not alone. I think for me I need my meds changed and my sleeps been off and having family problems. this is making my thoughts worse. i don't know if you have alot going on.

I think things, I don't hear them. Last night a 02:00 someone drove by condo playing some kind of disco latino bullshit so loud my head rattled. I started fantasizing about how I was going to use my military training to kill them.

What you described Cres, I feel also. I found my bottle of anti-depressants this morning. I think as long as you can keep a picture of right and wrong you can prevent yourself from acting. Having a good conscience like you do helps.

We have been losing this battle, I'm ready to start winning.

You got to get out of your head. Your aware of what is going on now it is up to you to take control of it. Keep your mind occupied, talk yourself thru reality, just get control.

HI! I think you might want to talk to someone with Crisis or a friend who can let you talk and get some of the thoughts out.
I also think you might need a change of meds, if you are on any that make you like this but the doc needs to do that.
Please call the doc or Crisis.
Let me know how you make out.
Take Care!
ttfn AnnieEm

I posted last night in crisis. I don't think people go there much. I was desparate feeling and it took alot longer to get a hold of someone than just in discussion

Yes, I have felt the same way. The thoughts racing, my thoughts telling me to hurt myself. Even though I have a crisis plan, sometimes I am so far gone I can't help myself. It helps me to journal, meditate , get on here and call/text close friends. Sometimes you need another person to help bring you back to reality. Take care and be gentle to yourself.

The good news is that you are very aware of your thoughts. I think bp'ers struggle with those types of thoughts anyway so you are not alone. Abilify has helped me with irrational thoughts. You sound like a strong person so keep staying in conrol.

I'm here if you need a friend.

Yeah, this happened to me a year ago, sans hearing voices. I seriously wanted to cut, but I KNEW this was unhealthy, and honestly, what cutter doesn't know it's wrong/unhealthy?

Klonopin helped me with the racing thoughts as did getting off of Prozac that made me so high-strung. Talk to your doc about your meds as they could be contributing to this. Also, if you take a benzo like klonopin, that usually helps center me. Try going for a walk or run w/a friend. Talk to trusted friends about it and stay busy.

Art helps focus and center me so I can't think about hurting myself. Try to find an activity that also centers you.

Yeah I lost this battle last night after going a few months without hurting myself. I was feeling this same way yesterday.

But trust me don't do what I did. I just ended up feeling disappointed in myself. It really never helps in the end! It just made it worse. Just wish you could know that before you do anything. My problem was that I was constricted to my room. Maybe if I got out, I might have won.

Don't stay alone. Walk, do something. Please be stronger than me.

i know how you feel. its the worst feeling in the world the good news is you know those things are wrong. that means you are in a place to get help and still hear what others have to say. keep fighting that feeling ok? also monday morning you have to call the doctor. you didnt mention meds so i dont know where you are wih that but the doctor may have to adjust them. or add some. promise me you wont do anything until you talk to your doctor...can you do that? because the scarey part is you can be where you are...and the next minute take a huge turn for the worst. where you are not rational or able to think clearly. so again reply to this and promise me ok? god bless!

dorkieyorkie-
i wanted to respond to what you said too....sometimes you cant just take control of it and get a handle on it like you said. thats almost insulting. your case of bipolar must not be that bad if you think that way. and to give advice like that can cause real damage if your not carefull. thats what everyone that doesnt understand saids, buck up and deal with it, get strong, fight it etc.....sometimes its good to hear that from a loved one...it keeps you fighting. but you not knowing his situation completeley and where he is at is dangerous for you to say something like that. and to everyone else replying to his post this is not free venting time for your self if you want to complain about your situation start your own topic. dont take over his with telling everyone your sob story and how bad you are. that doesnt help him at all!
this is not directed to everyone just the ones that added stuff like lining up my pills and razors on the counter! cresteddad, i think it would be best to put this topic under crisis instead of here. and if you do get any worse please call crisis line or go to the ER ok?

I'm tring to stay busy I'm alone and have no one to talk to. I'm just slowly sinking but I'm ok

I've just come out of a very bad depression so I know how you feel. I would get myself together enough to have a shower or do some washing up and, the whole time, my brain would be shouting at me 'Kill yourself! Kill yourself!'. It was fucking awful but it passed and I'm feeling much better and am so glad that I didn't listen.

I hope this passes for you soon.