Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Earlier at work I made a mistake and when I realized what I did I couldn't stop beating myself up. "your an idiot," "you should have known better", "you're stupid", etc,etc. These are the things I keep telling myself and I also worry to death about getting in trouble, or what the consequences of my actions will be. I fucking hate this!! I hate beating myself up so much and worrying so much. I wish I could stop but I just keep beating myself up. Was it a world ending mistake? No but I treat it like it is. Will I make more mistakes in the future? Yes. Will I be so mean to myself each time, I don't know. I can hear my therapists voice in my head reminding me that its ok to make mistakes, take a few deep breathes and forgive myself. She's right but I'm not good at forgiving myself and I hang on to things forever. I wish I could just let it go. In a few days or so it will fade away into the past but right now its the worst catastrophe I could have done. Why such an extreme reaction to a situation I know most people would have forgotten about by now. Sorry, just needed to vent. I'm just so sick and tired of being so fucking hard on myself.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I sure can relate. Is it because we do this that we become depressed? Or is it because we are depressed that we do this?
I only know I do the same thing!
Only thing that helps?
In the midst of one of these tirades I say " I love myself" it didn't help at first but now it does.... It quiets that horrible voice.
((((Hugs))))
I beat myself up at the therapist one time and she said "Never, ever criticize your self like that again...it's unacceptable'
So I didn't. It was hard not to but eventually it got easier. Now I don't do it anymore. So I made a mistake, doesn't mean I'm less of a person. I now try to tell myself "good job", "you handled that well" or
Yes! You got through it, good for you". Praising ourselves is a wonderful thing. It starts to make you feel good about yourself.
If someone called you a moron you would be mad. Then why do it to yourself? You're your own best friend.
If you can't be kinder to yourself think of it perhaps in another context... If I had made a mistake how would you address me?? or how would you address a friend or co worker if they had made a mistake??
Big hug for you sweetie...xo
http://www.cbtinthecity.com/CBTblog/how-to-deal-with-negative-automatic-thoughts/
So saying something good about yourself will become 2nd nature too!
I just started a 90 day affirmation challenge in Sexual Abuse. 90 days because my therapist told me it takes 90 days to forge a new thought pattern.
I encourage you to start your own affirmation challenge. It really helps. You could affirm (among other things) "I give myself permission to make mistakes and readily forgive myself when I do." It doesn't matter that you don't believe this now: after 90 days those words will pop into your head instead of "you're an idiot", guaranteed.
"You idiot why are you so clumsy!"
Or
"Hey that's OK let's clean it up you get the broom and I'll get the sponge"
The first way pretty much guarantees depression the second way empowerment.