Hi meme. First of all gentle hugs to you,

When a person with MI is in a serious relationship with another person with MI, things can get strained at times. My husband suffers from long and severe depressions and when I am also having an episode it can be very difficult to communicate. Particularly if I'm mixed and having a lot of anger and irritability. The good news is you probably both know what the other is going through which can lead you to being more gentle with each other. Getting there can be a real learning experience. In my marriage the most important thing I have learned is patience with myself as well as my husband. Like, if I am gearing up to say something mean, don't say it right then. Journal it, vent it to a friend, revise it so the "mean" is edited out and the gist of it, if it is a real problem, is retained, and say that instead.

Like I said, it's a process. It sounds like you really love each other. Just relax and take it step by step. Apologize, not necessarily for the things you said if they are true, but for being harsh about it.

I agree with Halter.

The other thing you both need to look at is how this friend moving in has affected your relationship. Do you both feel like you are not quite acting normally because you have a guest? How has the friend moving in changed your routine, how you fight or argue or resolve conflicts, do you all still have adequate 'me time'? Perhaps this change has put a lot of strain on one or both of you?

I know the friend moving in changed a lot he was here for 2 months and just left Saturday. I feel my fiancee and I are both kinda getting used to are old routine.. In those two months we barely commucated as we live in a tiny basement apartment and this friend was sleeping in our living room only us time was bed time and I work nights so basically we never had time. There was days my fiancee took days off cuz he was depressed and we talked a bit then about how we have to me strong and stay positive together... But in it all I kept everything in which is my natural way of handling life its very hard for me to talk were my fiancee its very very easy to talk..you would think natural I would understand him being depressed but I get upset as I have done all he has done he's like me at 20(depression wise) and I try to explain he needs to get help in this case pills will help him and that the reason he feels so sickly is any doc will tell u physical and mental are jhand n hand..it hurts me to see him so hurt.. I just want him to be stable..I know we will work it out just I can't keep my illness in but I'm afraid to trigger him

I think it often depends on how you present yourself... Is it that you have to hold it in or is it about 'how' you let it out??

You said you lost it last night... that you said a lot of mean things. some true and that you're still shaking

I think we can let someone know that we're struggling and feeling angry without holding it all in...
I think if conversations are starting with "I'm feeling" as opposed to "You are" it doesn't attack the other person... Words can do a lot of damage and can't be taken back

Perhaps take some time to get under control and when you're feeling calm have a discussion about both of your needs

Big hug for you... I hope you're both feeling better soon...xo

Normally we do have talks of this is how I feel and non accusing words.. We normally talk the moment something upsets me but it seems since I have pretty much been silent on clear commucating with the friend living with us makes it very hard I think the 1st week we tryed to talk like normal but this friend also works with my fiancee..so pretty much everything was on display plus this friends girlfriend(who works at the same place) was in our house from the time they got home from work till either 10pm that night or till I left for work at 1015pm and if it was a weekend there was no break..there is a lot of frustration to do with the friend..he's gone now..my fiancee and I will talk about the friend later..my fiancee depressed plus he just lost his great grandma.. I'm bounding back as the day goes on. I'm taking todsay to repair myself so by the time my fiancee gets home and I go to work I'll be ok. Bounding back just breathing thinking clearly.. And watching my puppy play with his kong

Someone want to be my person to vent to I need someone