Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
my husband is a lazy old grouch! I'm tired of his bullshit! I don't enjoy living anymore because of the way him and my son treat me. They treat me like a slave. He walks in the house after work, plops down on the couch and orders me around. He has me waiting on him hand and foot. He yells and screams about almost everything. He always adds more jobs to my already long list of things I do. I would of left a long time ago but I have no place to go and no body wants to give me a good paying job. I just get ssdi which in not nearly enough to live on. I going to look into other options. I beg God all the time to let me die. I can't relax anymore. I have nightmares all the time. I'm always having to do something. nobody will change for me. death is probably my only option now.
It is your turn to take back control of your life and at some point you will know what to do as far as leaving......
I would ask her doughter to do the dishes and she would say why your the maid its your job.
Anyway I went on strike wich didnt work so I left and stayed at my parents house for a week and when I came back we all had a talk about how I was being direspected.They agreed that they were wrong and they did treat me better.
I feel for you Jenn it was so degrading but standing up was so liberating.
Homemakers shoul be apreciated for the endless amount of time and energy they contribute to the family,we sure deserve a day off.
Just because you have bp doesnt mean your a doormat.Dont take crap from anyone!
I hate my husband, too. I love him as well.
I'm sorry you're at the point where suicide seems like the only answer. I receive SSI for a disability that came about when I was 16 and I'm 41 now. I didn't start receiving aid until I left an abusive childhood.
I have a BA in Psychology and wanted to go on for my Phd, then my Masters, then just a job. I had a child unplanned and he is my greatest gift but also my greatest challenge. I had to stay home with my son because we were so poor we were living on my husband's meager salary and foodstamps.
My son has ADHD from my husband's gene pool so now that it is my focus.
I tried to commit suicide last year at this time because I felt just as you do, trapped. Fortunately, my husband found me and after 3 hospitalizations, controversial brain treatments, and months of amnesia, I'm finally understanding my contribution to my own situation getting that bad.
I didn't realize I was trying to make everyone else happy and not treating myself nice. I was used to this with my parents. They NEVER praised me, said I was attractive as my older sister, constantly pointed out my faults.
This became my inner voice. I felt like I owed my husband something because I am not making an income so I tried everything I could think of to please him and when his grumpiness didn't change, I felt like a failure.
It's like I always was my worst enemy.
You matter. God is there. It's good you are able to open up here.
I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.
Everything will be ok. Just take one breath at a time, lock yourself in a room if you have to, listen to the silence. That feeling in your gut is God inside of you. It will tell you what you need to do.
You are an adult. You can take care of yourself. I know you don't believe this right now but you know all the answers. Just calm down and listen to yourself.
I'm cheering you on and praying for you.
God bless you always in all that you do.
"If you don't take care of yourself first, your needs, then how can you possibly have the energy to help others?" - Anonymous
Yes, your life is shitty right now but death is NEVER the answer to your problems.
You need to grab life by the balls, and by the sounds of things, doing the same to your husband and son is necessary.
You do not exist to be someone else's slave. If he is treating you like a slave it is because somewhere along the line you stopped feeling worthy, I'm sure he played a huge part in that too. Trust me, I have so been where you are, not even 6 months ago I felt exactly the same way you are right now.
You need to get away and start a new. Your currently living conditions sound toxic, you need to get this sorted out asap.
The only person that can sort your life out is you, unfortunately. I can understand that having a low income limits you greatly, but it doesn't stop you dead in your tracks, it just means that it's a bigger battle to overcome, but you will overcome it.
I think you should also try talking to friends or close relatives as carrying this baggage around is not healthy, even just having a few glasses of wine with a friend and unwinding can be a great aid.
You need to ride out the storm, I've been there and with a little help from family, I got through it eventually.
Don't lose hope and don't give up on yourself.
I know this advice isn't exactly great, because I have no way of being able to aid you in the way you need right now, but sometimes just knowing that you aren't alone can help, even if it is only in a small way.
You've got a long way to go, but you will get out of this, you just need to keep fighting for it.
*Big hug*
Stay strong x