Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm pretty sure I'm a social outcast because when new years comes around, I have nothing to do yet I want to go out and have fun so bad. It's the same with Halloween, I don't know if it's just rhode island but Halloween is the social event if the season. EVERYBODY is busy making their costumes and already have plans to go to some big party. But me? Nada. I'll be at home by myself doing nothing. But at least this time I have friends, they are all doing things out of state and with their boyfriends or my friend Sydonee is taking her salsa dancing class to the Dominican republic for a week starting tomorrow. I know I'm having a pitty party but I just can't help it. Once again I am the biggest fucking loser on the planet! I've been talking to my family about shame I have from this illness and why things are the way they are because of having bipolar disorder. Plus I was raised catholic so there's a whole nother piece of shame. But anyway, I just hate being such a loser. If it were up to me, I'd be going out dancing every weekend, but it just doesn't happen that way. LOSER! By the way I've always been known to be a bit hard on myself. Still doesn't make it less painful.
I guess I'm just feeling a little extra upset because I was having an in depth conversation with my mom about my illness thus far and I was wondering how many people know and she thinks that everyone, all of my peers, all of our community know that I have bipolar disorder and have been struggling with my sanity for a little over 5 years and that it is common knowledge.
So that was the other day, now it's getting closer to party time and everyone around me is talking about their plans to go out this weekend all dressed up in their costumes and I don't really have plans..
SO now I feel like a loser... everyone knows about my craziness and I'm missing another chance to party with my peers... to be social.
But I guess I can turn it around by going to this party on Saturday...
I want to dress up as a geisha, my mom has a genuine japanese kimono and I have an asian long skirt and asian slippers and decorative chop sticks to go in my hair and all the makeup!! But she's not sure if she's going to let me wear it... but I hope she does!
gina