Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I have pmdd (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) along with my BP and each month around that time, I get super depressive. I haven’t stopped crying for two days straight and when im at work all i do is lock myself in the bathroom and cry at my desk. I feel like Im sick of doing the same things evey day and never having money to go away for a weekend with my boyfriend or something. I haven’t done a THING this entire summer. Its because we never have money. Our rent is expensive and just the cost of living in NYC is expensive. I feel like all I want to do is drug myself with xanax or Percocets to feel good by being high.
Not medicated because they never seemed to work for me. it’s my choice.
I feel like I don’t enjoy doing anything. I hate being around people. They annoy me. I’m 26 and only have a GED. I work for my uncle who is an architect for the last 2 years, for only 10 dollars an hour and I haven’t worked up the balls to ask for a raise yet.. Because while YES, i have WAY more responsibilities now (including an expediters license for our company and an expediters starting rate is $15 P/H) than I did upon getting hired, my work performance lacks horribly. We with BP know how difficult it is to function at a job let alone keep one.
I am barely getting by and I’m afraid to ask for a raise because he agreed to pay my car payments (200 per month) back when i got my car IF i got my expediters license. And I did. But that was 2 years ago. I feel like I don’t have a right to ask because of that and because im also insecure about my work performance. So what im gonna have to settle for 10 an hour?
I dont know what to do. I feel like a loser. Because I dont know whats next after this. My boss is 83 years old and when he passes, then what? I feel stuck, depressed and uninspired. Nothing makes me happy and Im desperately trying to find things that do.
Please spare me the comments saying "you wouldn’t feel like this if you were on your meds" because honestly, I felt this way ON them
Just need advice.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
There are medications and treatments for PMDD. You say you don't want to take meds, that's your choice 100%, but that means you have to live with the consequences of your choice. If you choose not to treat the PMDD, then you have to figure out how to suffer through it each month.
The BiPolar, once again, with BiPolar it's not a choice. The ONLY way to manage and control BiPolar Disorder is with a variety of Therapies including the correct medication cocktail. The whole BiPolar treatment kit is Medication, Therapy, Good Nutrition, Good Sleep, Coping Skills, and learning ways to merge your BiPolar life with your regular life. The first 2 are the most important, the rest you can put in whatever order you wish. Once again if you choose not to take meds, it's your choice. But there is NO WAY to control BiPolar without medication, and you can't get to a state of Stable without getting your BiPolar under control.
If your self medicating with random drugs like Xanax and Percocet, that can be dangerous and can also make the BiPolar worse.
As for the statement, "We with BP know how difficult it is to function at a job let alone keep one." that's not true and a bit of a copout. I've had BiPolar with Severe Suicidal Depression for 27 yrs, with 4 suicide attempts and 5 Inpatient Hospital stays in the last 10 years. I've done literally every therapy there is including 3 cycles of ECT, and worked through most of the psych drugs out there. I have a Degree in Computer Science, a Degree in Accounting, a Ph.D in Clinical Psychology and a Certification as a Paralegal. In my adult career I've had a total of I think 6 jobs where I worked for 5 - 10 yrs. each. I've been able to achieve Stability for very long periods of time because I accept that BiPolar is a Life Disease, it effects every minute, every hour, every day of my life and I've learning coping skills to deal with it. I also make sure that I stay on the proper med cocktail and see a Therapist every week, for the last 27 yrs.
Never think that just because you have BiPolar your life is over. It's just like any other disease, it's how you deal with it and embrace it that makes the difference. Yes there are days that I can't get out of bed because breathing just seems too hard, but I work through it, I use my support system and I don't let myself wallow in the Depression....if I did that I'd have been dead a long time ago.
If you're tired of being broke and having a low paying job, go to college and get a degree, you can do it online, at night, there are tons of ways to do it....and there's tons of funding out there. You are the only one who can change your situation.
One major thing I can tell you though is until you get your diseases under control, you're limiting yourself in a big way.
Take care.
I recommend you get on your meds to take back control of your life; otherwise the diseases have control over you.
There's nothing wrong at all with approaching your Uncle about a raise... You could always take a night course while you work...... I did .. I took a couple.... There is stability to be had sweetie... I could never have done it without medication though.. just sayin.... Big hug...xo
I've been in this mindset before. I was looking at other people around me, and thinking there's something wrong with me because I don't go to clubs, rarely if ever visit bars, I can't bring myself to like rollercoasters or snow-boarding, and pretty much everything people have been listing, sounded boring as hell to me.
I was like, so I guess I am depressed, and doomed now. But then I made myself go to a beginner's improv class. It was hard, especially while in a dark mood, but I felt that fire ignite inside me, that energy of the joys of lost childhood that I've been chasing.
Just because you don't know what it is, doesn't mean it's not there.
I know people who were completely lost, then they found improv, and now they actually got so good at it, it's become their source of income!
I am not like them, but I can see that it is possible to find something you love, and then actually make money off of it.
Are there subjects that you like to rant/write about? Could you do a Youtube video podcast?
26 is YOUNG. Also, you can slow down your aging process by finding a form of exercise that you enjoy. Consider looking into traditional martial arts.
Aikido, specifically, is very warm and welcoming to beginners, and it does a great job of exorcising depressive demons. It's been actually proven as a tool against PTSD for returning war veterans.
2) There's a natural supplement which helps with PMDD. It's called Neptune Krill Oil, and Source Naturals is a reputable manufacturer which sells it on Amazon.
Clinical study supporting this claim: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12777162
The reason it works, is because it naturally contains astaxanthin, which is an immune response regulator. It also protects your skin against UV radiation damage with long-term use. There are other studies about this.
And the medication scenario is mainly just because I am so afraid to gain weight or not be able to lose weight while on it. I hate constantly having to go back to the Doctor back and fourth and I have medicaid so my pdocs SUCK! I feel like im being short handed and thats what makes it discouraging to go. Because the doctors ive met with seem like they dont know what they're doing. Im sure some of you have experienced the feeling that you are never going to get well because those who are in charge of your well being, are idiots.
shihonage that is good insight about Aikido. I will definitely look into that. I do exercise and diet properly but then my motivation dies out quickly and I give up. I need to stop doing that! it drives me nuts!!!! ugh, maybe I will go back on the meds... I need stability :(
Thanks guys, you have been a big help