I hope you're ok. You are NOT worthless, it is just the illness talking. And it'll do that to you, every chance it gets.

I totally understand where you're coming from on the meds side effects. But, you have to take the good with the bad. Dont give up on meds.

Even with some of the shitty side effects, the meds could make you feel better, and not make you feel soo suicidal and horrible.

Try again on the meds. It takes a long time sometimes to get the right combo. And they're are some meds with minimal side effects.

Take care of YOU!!! Keep us up to date on how you're doing. Good luck.

OOPS hit send - you aren't worthless. You can do this and make it work and get on with your life

i think that side effect suck i have minammly but the things like dry mouth are worth not feeling like shit in my head and the side withdrawal from the klonerpin is anxiety inbetween dose but dont want to go up and keep that cycle going

I hope that today finds you feeling better. You aren't worthless. No one is worthless. I haven't got anything to add. Everyone has given you good advice. I hope you graduate and can get to a happier place.

It sounds like you need to take one day at a time and take care of yourself. Don't overtax yourself. Study enough to get an okay grade and keep in touch with supportive friends. You don't have long to graduate. Stay focused.

Don't worry so much about family. You are not a bad person. You are not worthless. You are stressed and people, without meaning to, are being toxic.

Your family is not you. They might have similarities to you, but they are not you. This is most important to understand. You have your own gifts, your own comprehensions and your own methods of doing things. Keep this in mind. It is sooooo difficult to stand up to people if you are anything like me.

My attitude has always been: "I shall offend to make offense a skill, redeeming time when men think least I will, which translates to:

I will do well and do so well that folks will be surprised and shocked and I know the right time and the Higher Power knows the right time for me to shine and it doesn't matter what other people think.......

THAT IS SO DIFFICULT TO DO!!!

Hugs,
Ekatepnha

I just read Weiderkennerabe's post and yes, if you DO need to go to the hospital and then graduate later, then that is more important than what some folks think--Mental health is the supreme goal.

Yes-she's right.

Finally-weight--I was a bit big as a teen and then in college, I lost a whole lot of weight. So, a little bit of weight is actually good in that when you go to college, you might need those pounds to burn. College can be overwhelming and you will be running around a lot.

Secondly, I always tell people that the only time one loses weight is for health reasons and not to please "society." Society can BITE ME. I am full figured and I have decided that that is okay. So, being sensible and if you need to, seeing a nutritionist is okay, but don't give in to fad diets or people who think that everyone needs to look like Twiggy. At the same time, though, don't be mean to the thin people because sometimes, they struggle too with actually keeping on the weight.

I guess that my main point is that health-both mental and physical is important and not what people think. Does that make sense?

How are you feeling now? I am still new here but empathise with how your feeling that i wanted to pop in. I understand the need to graduate to move out of your parents and go on with bigger plans. And feeling trapped or like you don't have a choice at the moment with possibly needing to go to the hospital for help, can be very overwhelming. At the very least can you take a benodryl or xanax to help you calm down or even sleep for a bit?
I was on abiliy for a bit and it sucked!! Made me sick and very suicidal. But my dr at that time had given it to me alone rather than with another drug like it is meant for. :(

I also wanted to comment on the part where you said maybe after you graduate you will be better. You probably will feel better and happier and it may last awhile. But please be prepared that you will still have your"moods" even once you've acheived your goal. It's just part of the bp sickness. I FINALLY after 4 long years got to the place i wanted to be. I left my husband, got my divorce finalized, still have my beautiful son, and now live with the man i love. I felt happy for the first time in my life when this all came together. i was actually blown away by the feeling of being happy cuz i'd never experienced it before. it was great. now, however i am in a depression again. and it sucks! and i hate it because i don't know why. and even tho i knew i'd still have my bp i didn't think i would struggle with it very much. But i am and it's a butt! So all that to say i support you with your urgency to graduate and move out because it will get you to where you want to go with bigger things in your life, just know that you can 't leave the moods and sickness behind. And understand it is just that- a sickness. not you! I hope you are feeling stronger. Much love!
Skye

p.s. you are NOT a bad person. Don't let the disease fool you into believing that. (((HUGS)))

Thank you guys so much....i feel a bit better now...today in school i had an anxiety attack and cried a bit..then i went to my dad (he works in my school) and i told him i wanted to die and stuff and he said to focus on graduation and i need to stop damaging myself and stressing over things that can change like weight and he was saying that he think im so depressed because i cant be myself around my mom and he said that needs to change

but i had a teacher who asked me if i was ok and just her noticing me made me feel a bit better

i think waiting until may 27 is way too long to see your doc.i am on wellbutrin also but i take paxil and lithium along with it.i have klonopin on board too for when the anxiety hits. while graduation is important and a wonderful goal.getting out of this crisis is get in necessary.Please get in touch w to your doc to replace the med you stopped.The meds have always made me gain weight and it really bothers me since i used to be a size 5.but you can always try and lose weight when you feel better

i think that the weight is uninporant i now self image but if you are to worried what other think then you are not doing your self any favores you doing the right things in life and that should help you throught there is a good life waiting for you after gradation this thing are more inporant then weight meds can eas the pain but the self image is something that you can be proud of you done the right things in your life