I'm sorry that you're feeling bad right now. I know what you mean about feeling that the actual diagnosis would make a difference in how you deal with things. I was officially Dx'd in 2004, though suffered with the disease since my teens. To this day I still struggle with accepting I have bipolar disorder. I think some people are more prone to accept things and move forward, and some feel stuck for longer periods of time.

Do you think you may need a med tweak, you sound on the depressed side. The mental illness stigma, can really keep us from feeling like we fit it. Try not to be so hard on yourself, I know it sounds easy, but we have to remember to cut ourselves a break. God knows we need it!!

I thought when I was diagnosed life would be a lot smoother sailing. Since my diagnosis in September '09, I've only told my mom and dad, brother, one of my sisters, and my grandma on my dad's side. My boyfriend, and my best friend. At work I've only told people who are bipolar themselves or have a family member who is. Of these people, my boyfriend is the only one I trust completely. My mom thinks I'm not bipolar, and so does my best friend. I wish they would become better informed. At least we have a place like DS to come to. Hugs!

Well, unfortunately, you're right!! However, it is not all unfortunate. Getting your diagnosis does not change your symptoms. And, unlike diabetes (which mental illnesses are often compared to, to demonstrate the need for life-long medication) taking your meds, even regularly, does not automatically put everythign right. There are still ups and downs, med adjustments, etc. that we need to deal with. And, you're also right. It is very difficult to maintain close relationships with other "normal" people. They just don't understand that you can't simply suck it up and be brave, and keep it together. Oddly enough, especially when you ARE taking your meds, and still have some problems. Which is expected. Just not often understood by the "normies"....but, that is why I really love and appreciate DS...this is a great place full of people who understand that. and still want to be friends.

I agree with everyone's posts so far. It sounds like you really feel miserable. Focus on getting your meds tweaked. This makes all the difference in the world. Until recently I was major depressed and I attributed most of this to my situation. After getting my meds changed, however, my outlook improved immensely. I'm still in the same crappy situation but my attitude is tons better. When you're depressed it's easy to attribute most all of the bad feelings to your situation. Not right. I'm sorry you feel so isolated and hope that you can get some relief soon.