If she'd had one nice thing to say to me over the past ten years things may have been different. She had plenty of criticisms. We haven't seen much of each other over the past 12 yrs (she's 33), and she lives in the UK which has only reinforced the separateness. She has a very good life, but as far as our relationship goes, she has some serious conflicts. I had to get off of the roller coaster ride of trying to "make nice" and then getting angry either at myself or her. I stopped trusting her and any interactions, as few as they were, made me nervous. "Did I say the wrong thing, etc." The saddest thing is her lack of compassion. I just cannot not be in a relationship where this is absent. I've never asked her for anything despite being very sick at times. I never even thought to contact her!

She came to the states and sent me an email saying she was here for the holidays. I was in Miami. I felt that this was just another inconsiderate thing, not telling me ahead of time, and that there was more to come! I was shocked and angry. I responded "Really Mel? Jeez." I then sent another message about getting together if she's still in town when I got back. Her response was that it makes no sense since she did not expect that reaction from me. Then she said she was pregnant.

I said that I didn't even know how she got in touch with me since I'd blocked her email. And I didn't acknowledge the pregnancy since I don't expect to ever see the baby. I never heard back from her after that.

Of course I'm having some anxiety over it, but it was a lose-lose relationship which caused me so much psychic pain for many years. There can be no solution unless she seeks counseling and has some nice things to say to me. But, this is a pattern in my family and so I'm not optimistic. It's another sad saga. But life goes on because it must!