Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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I am slowly becoming a hermit

gare
gare

I've never really enjoyed the company of others as much as most people, but it's starting to get a bit rediculous. It only takes a couple of hour of being around the people I like for me to want to be alone. as for people I don't know, it's pretty much imediatly. I'm also starting to have difficulty with small talk. I can tell that people are weirded out by my curt, sometime incomplete, responses. I think my body language is also not quite right. I'll walk past one of my neighbors on a good day, and they'll ask me if I'm alright. It happens a lot!

I don't really mind not spending time with people, but I do want a girlfriend. I feel so starved for touch. I have such a strong urge to hug and cuddle. I want that touch that's not sexual, but rather a physical manifestation of love.

I've tried dating sites more than once. They aren't very useful for regular looking men with no job and BP. It felt like applying for jobs with no highschool diploma and a felony conviction.

I'm working towards getting a job, but it may or may not work out. Maybe if I can get a car and a decent apartment I can improve my chances enough to meet someone.

Maui1992
Maui1992
Has this been a recent change for you? Have you been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder? There are meds for that. Do you have a therapist you can work with? I would suggest making small goals by just talking with your pharmacist or saying hi to your neighbour. Baby steps.

As for finding a girlfriend, I'm not sure what to suggest. Perhaps not stating you have BP in your online dating profile, and if you go on dates, wait until you are close before sharing that personal information?

Best wishes!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I like being on my own now as well and can only be around people for short periods

Are you seeing a therapist?.... it's hard now with Covid.... Once you're able to I would get out and around people and push yourself if possible and if you're able seek some help

I'm older now so I'm accepting of it but I wish I wouldn't have allowed myself to get this way in the first place... I think it started with caregiving and depression

Big hug.... I agree that you don't have to fill in a lot about yourself on a dating site..... You don't want to be dishonest but I would let someone get to know you as well..... xo
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady
Sometimes when I feel like I’m a hermit I focus on the baby steps of just getting out of the house. Going to the library - a cafe (pre-Covid) - a book or record store - or just outdoors to sit in a park. I live in an urban environment so I can de-hermitize when need be.

I think online life can get heavy so definitely seeking more in-person things to engage with when things open up again.

Just going for walks helps tremendously.....

I don’t have any advice on online dating apps. Those seem intimidating to me but I’ve known others who have had success with them. Best wishes to you.
Sunshinegirl0228
Sunshinegirl0228
Same
gare
gare
I don't think it's social anxiety disorder. I think it's the combination of not really enjoying most interactions with people and declining social skills due to isolation. I have the ability to spend time with people, but not the will.
LokoFluffyPenguin
LokoFluffyPenguin
You are not alone with this. I, too, have become a hermit. I used to work in a general surgery office. I worked there for a year and a half.. I was treated badly (pretty much bullied) by a couple of my coworkers for at least 6 months of that time.. I tried to keep going, but I soon realized that I started feeling the mental and physical effects it was having on me. I however do have generalized anxiety disorder... The negative interactions eventually resulted in me putting in my two week notice and leaving. Two weeks after I quit is when Covid lockdown began last year... I have had a lot of people ask me if I am not leaving my house due to what is going on with the virus, and my answer is no.. My issue is with people! Even if they do not intentionally mean to negatively effect me or hurt me in some way, they somehow do. My brain for some reason lately is processing interactions in a negative way. I have been talking about this with my therapist for a while now. I told her at this point in time, I feel I am in a protective mode, and that I no longer want to subject myself to the pain and hurt I experience when people are awful to me. It sounds dramatic and absurd, even to me, but that is where I am at right now and I am trying to work on getting to the point where I am able to get out of my shell again.

I am aware that not everyone will treat me that way, but there have been a lot of people in my life that have taken advantage of my kindness and see it as one of my "weaknesses".. I guess at this time, I have put a wall up and the thought of putting myself out there and letting myself be vulnerable again is not something I am ready to do right now.

I know this is not providing much help with your situation, I am just letting you know that you are not alone with feeling the need to be alone. My situation and experiences may be different, but whatever the cause, you have my support.. Hugs!
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