Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

8,884 Members
129,559 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Bipolar Disorder Support Group

How to deal with parents?

feelingveryalone
feelingveryalone

Hi everyone and happy holidays, 


I'm currently in college and working on making myself stonger and keeping my moods more regular. The past few weeks I have been making progress in addressing my moods and how I choose to cope with them or how my therapist and I have talked about how to work through them, but my mother has been making that difficult. In many ways my mom is great and handles things well but when it comes to bipolar she tends to dismiss it and tries to group my feelings with normal mood swings of people my age. I'm trying so hard to try and keep myself motovated and be able to make positive progress but she tends to come down on me and not acknowledge that bipolar is different. Overall it makes me feel small and more alone than I already feel, and she wants me to keep this part of myself a secret from others. In my life I dont really have a person, aside from therapists, to talk through highs/lows and daily life of bipolar with and as I continue to look for someone who doesnt either give me the crazy eyed/pity eyed look, she doesnt see the need for that and it sets my motivation back for trying to get better. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and how to overcome the negative and try to set themselves on a more stable path wihtout being as set back by family opinions. Thank you all! 

Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
hi, I think it sometimes takes awhile for parents to get this, if they ever will. My take is that parents are resistent to the idea that something is "wrong" with their child, it's sort of inbuilt (that and thinking when they are smaller that there is something wrong with their child and panicking when there isn't ).

Equally if they go the other way then it can be "oh you are only saying / thinking that because of the bipolar" which can be equally worse.

In short parents are generally wired to react badly to this kind of thing.

So you need perhaps to accept their limitations, reduce your expectations of them, and look elsewhere for support, like here.
Sunshinegirl0228
Sunshinegirl0228
I also face those struggles with my parents. Mom tries to understand but when I am depressed, her go to phrase is "Just think happy thoughts" And she doesn't understand that I cannot control my thoughts and its not that easy to be positive. My dad's boss's daughter has bipolar and they trade stories about me and her. So in some sense, my dad understands but he doesn't know how to react to me when I have an episode. You could suggest that she join a support group or have a family therapy session with you. When I was first diagnosed, I gave my parents reading material on bipolar and they said it was helpful. Also, I recommend the BP Hope magazine. I have received two issues and they were very interesting
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady
I have learned to find support and understanding and community in support groups and through advocacy work (not much of that these days.). Mostly because my family has never been on board with a diagnosis. I don’t talk about it with them much though I’ve had episodes over the years (18 years now! and several hospitalizations). So yes, very much understand how you’re feeling. I recommend focusing with organizations like NAMI and others. This seems to be a really common theme among people with this diagnosis and some others. Anxiety and depression are being talked about much more during the pandemic. Bipolar still really isn’t widely understood so sometimes it helps to speak in general terms about mental health issues with those who don’t know much about it, or even when meeting new people you aren’t ready to disclose to, if that makes sense.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
My folks were much like this as well.... They struggled with the stigma of mental illness and I advocated so I was out there.... lol

I think people can empathize however if it's beyond their experience they really can't 'get it'

They can try and learn more and maybe they will try and maybe they won't

I agree that seeking support by people who do 'get it' can be very helpful for you and get rid of some of this distress that maybe you are both feeling

It may be distressing to her to and she doesn't know how to help you

Support groups and people who work in the field I find much better to share with so that no one has to feel distressed

I'm glad that you're here.... DS is a good site

It reads like you're on a really good path and are doing things right.... Big hug.....xo
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • GTTMbutstillme

    Sunday Check In

    Posted by: GTTMbutstillme
    Last Reply: Sunshinegirl0228
    3
    Well, good morning to you!Today is National Roller Coaster Day.  Are any of you going?It's also National Tell-A-Joke Day!  Come up with some and share!I'm not bright with jokes these days, but I'll start:"Today I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon...I'll let you know."   :D
  • confessionsofaqueen

    Keep me in your thoughts

    Posted by: confessionsofaqueen
    Last Reply: SunCloudJD
    4
    Woke up feeling very emotional and about to clock in at my place of employment. And can't place it all in writing but not been a good experience with my store manager or his boss. Defamation of my character is a concern. I've been losing appetite and weight. Trying to perform at work to keep myself from hospitalization as a result of toxic masculinity.