Not to sound harsh tats, but I think you are too attached to other's behavior. Not finishing what they start or not picking up are two minor things that shouldn't really trigger a breakdown or an episode. They are irritating but not abusive or extreme. People have flaws. You have to understand that. And if you let people know that you could have an episode becuase they didn't pick something up or finish something, I'm sorry but that's just straight up emotional blackmail in my book.
That is misusing Bipolar as a way to manipulate someone instead of just calmly talking to them.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but when I grew up my mom used to pull shit on me like this and I found it extremely manipulative and unfair. Disciplining kids should not involve falling apart. Your stability is really your responsibilty. I mean, if your husband was cheating and your kids got DUIS that would be another thing but this is pretty minor.

I think you need to recheck your means of staying stable and look inward- be it meds, meditation, exercise or whatever.

Good luck.

I hear ya zsa.....loud and clear.....and understand where you are coming from but there's more to it than I can get into or express right now.

It's just the tip of the iceberg........but I will heed your advice and do a check....I know it sounds like petty stuff but it's never ending and makes me feel disrespected in a huge way. I've talked til I am blue in the face, don't know what else I can do here. It makes me feel so sad......

I appreciate your honesty zsa and thanks for the reply, I wish I could explain things better than I do though.

Makes total sense to me and I have the Christmas music blaring and it's helping alot! I'm ignoring the messes and other bullshit going on around here because you're right it's really all I can do...I have voiced my opinion about things and washed me hands of it!

I'm not going to let this night go out the window just yet! I'm reeling myself back in here and being successful!!!! Thanks regina!! Trying hard to keep the peace. :-)

You sound plain old pissed and not triggered and we have all been there. You should set clear boundaries and chores for everyone and if they are not done it does not fall back on you . Its thou don't always have to do everything . I would be careful about drinking alcohol . It may not help exactly. If you do up a rota and they still don't do things they will learn quickly that you wont do it and it wont get done and they have the choice to live in filth or order. Don't take all this on. Be pro active and give them a rota and a choice and then leave it up to them. Famly crap can be hard at times but set your boundaries and stick to them xxx

Thanks Peanut......appreciate your input....and yes I was really pissed!

I will be careful about the drinking...just had one mixed drink as I am not a big drinker just felt like having one tonight to celebrate a bit.

I think the list of chores is an awesome idea and as soon as the holidays are over with I think I'm going to work, wonderful idea and thanks again!

I do enjoy getting pissed at times though Gina LOL Its like a release of pent up frustration LOL Not saying its for everyone and it needs to be contained but a good old fashioned rant with a little pissed off thrown in occasionally does wonders in terms of a reboot for me LOL

Well practice makes for perfect....I hope to get it down one of these days and soon!!!!! lol

i agree that this sounds more like a family problem than a bipolar problem. maybe there are family-oriented resources online or IRL that have good ideas. There's gotta be stuff online- we got everything here, right! :)

Sure do zsa.....but I have gotten some great help here! Thanks to you all! ox

I know they say don't sweat the small shit.....and it's ALL small shit!!! lol

well I'm sure having a family must be hard. My mom had six kids and had to always bug us to get our stuff done; I think we drove her up the wall.

I think this is sort of an eternal problem for moms to deal with :)

I don't stay stable I address the symptoms of my instability as they arise. Unstable is simply a part of who and what I am. There are even times when that is a good thing. I am great in a crisis or transition.

In this case, the symptom would be minding other people's business. I would work on walking past other people's messes without grabbing my super cape and taking responsibility for them.

I say smack up side there head, & say/yell"pick up your shit, this aint just your house, we all have to live here!!!"

Just a thought.
Hang in there hunny
love ya
BIG hugs
dee

I know this is different than what everyone else is saying, but I confronted everyone in the house about what they were not doing and I was tired of cleaning from sun up to sun down.

They didn't listen at first so I stopped cleaning their messes and it piled up. It got so bad my husband finally hired a lady to assist in cleaning inside and her husband outside, before this I was doing inside and out with kids and hubby making messes everywhere.

Now I have my days where I settle in with DS as the man and woman take hold of my house. My husband and sons are also trying to keep their areas clean now.

alanon helps! to mind your "own" business.keep your own side of the street clean,in other words live your own life. it is dam hard and takes lots if practice and lots of reinforcement. but it helps prevent alot of anger and anxiety when you discover that their life is just that 'their" life their journey..not yours.it certainly lightens up the load for you not to arry that 200lb man on your back!!!! best to you,i know its not easy.