It helps to have people show you what love is all about. Other than that we need to realize that we're loveable and accept ourselves for what we are.

I know from my own experience it seemed impossible to love myself. That was until I found someone who did love me. That has helped me see myself in a whole new light.

It helped me once to realize I was given this one body. I can abuse it or try to take care of it and love it.

It is still hard to get compliments or insults that are meant to be compliments. I could take better care of myself, but I have my issues too.

We were blessed/given this one body. Look it over and realize you are looking at you. Realize that's it-it your skin and your arm and your whole body.

Don't mistreat it and don't let anyone else mistreat it either. When you are at least trying to do that, I think you are learning to love yourself.

At least this is what reached me the most.

Tamara

I'm happy gmason that you found someone who loves you.

I have found someone and a few people who I think love me too, but they sometimes hurt me as much as loves me.

I did want to point out that it took me forty years to find love. You are a beautiful young woman. Please don't wait until you think someone else loves you.

Yes, it is a lot easier when someone does and it doesn't feel like the whole world is against you. But if you wait for someone to love you, you could waste a lot of your life.

Take care of you!

There will be times when you will experience love and there will be times where some people have to stand alone. I have stood alone before. I stood alone, completely alone with the exception of my faith and my oldes son who showed quiet concern. It was a long year. It took me realizing deep deep down that any "being" deserved better than the treatment I was receiving.

Oddly those same people, my husband and his family, are still in my life and have argued with me but made up. Life can throw you some surprises.

They changed because I told them I wouldn't take their treatment anymore. I told everyone that actually. I lost a few more people, but I'm holding strong with my husband, sons, best bud, friends, and a few in-laws.

Good luck
Tamara

just out of curiousity.. do you find that you suffer from apathy? I feel this way alot. more than usual.

I can relate to this, I feel the same way. I don't know what the answer is except to tell yourself to treat yourself like a friend.

I definitely have people who love me. It helps a little but I know deep down I still don't love myself. My boyfriend is really supportive and he really wants to help me love myself. He is always there for me but we both know it is something i have to do for myself. There are parts of me that I love, but there is a lot that I hate.

I really relate to this question. Like a lot of people who come from really unsafe and terrifying upbringings, it's a much longer journey to find that self love and also to have real love from other people in your life. One thing I have done in the last 18 months, at 43 years of age is to completely disengage myself from my immediate and extended family. I FINALLY realised that I have been in a delusional stare for many years about the nature of my family and what I thought was love from them. That delusion is my responsibility not theirs.

I believe that going forward, as much as this has been soul-destroyingly painful, it opens up my life for REAL love - be that through new friends, maybe even a MAN God forbid.

When I was in a wonderful relationship in my 20's I always felt less than - both in relation to my boyfriend and his wonderful family -as I had never experienced the loving ways that came so naturally to them. And I lost him because of my then undiagnosed and untreated alcoholism and mental illness. It was always destined to fail - I just had such rock bottom self esteem that I would never measure up in my own eyes. Of course I know now that I did deserve love and a future as much as anyone else.

But I think the key point now, espescially having divested myself of my family, is to be prepared to take emotional risks. Because we've been hurt so much, we naturally curl up in a corner in many different ways. But despite the terriblke damage done by others, we still need to be open to the love in the world. I haven't had much success yet - but it's a good therory!! lol

I deal with a lot of self hatred. I've been this way all my life. I've worked on it in therapy but it really hasn't helped. I hope things get better for you...xx

I was exactly the same. My thoughts were who the hell could love a menal unemployed 50 year old woman like me? then my pdoc sent me for cognitive behavioural therapy, he said can't you see yourself? you've got no confidence or self esteem! Therapy was hard and opened up old wounds but only for them to heal again! I realised that I was a good person, bipolar wasn't my fault and nasty people using me and making me feel guilty wasn't my fault ether! Then I realised I had friends who loved me, family who loved me, my sons friends loved me and my cats loved me! Not long after this I got with a lovely man who has loved me for 6 years, but I blocked him cos i was scared of being hurt. Now I'm confident enough to know that i can take the blows no matter what-unless something awful happened to my son-all else aside i will survive X kA

It is a hard thing for many people. Even for myself. Being bipolar makes it more difficult especially when one is down. As long as you have a loving and supportive partner is most important.

Therapy? This isn't really a BP thing though per se...

I deal with this also, I don't know how to love myself even when I do good. I also don't think it is a BP thing, for me it's PTSD...and the way I was raised and the environment of things over time. You should see about getting some therapy to help with this, cognitive thinking therapy does help or at least it does for me.....I am much better with myself now than I have been in my whole life. Still not perfect but everything takes time. But it does help so I would look in to it if you have the extra time =)

It may not be "bipolar" per se, but it is a common theme around here, even indirectly. And the bipolar aspect only exacerbates the problem, because it clouds how we "think", especially in moodswings, and God knows we don't need any more to think about.

Self-love is a Perception issue as much as anything else, and then it affects the reality that is ours.

My moodswings may stem from a chemical imbalance - i.e., sometimes I am God, and what everyone else thinks about me doesn't matter - but so many self-esteem issues build up that I can't tell where the bipolar stops, and where "I" come into play, sometimes.

It will be harder if it has not been taught, alliegator. But it can be done.

Reaffirmation of positive things - Real things - is necessary. We need to Tell ourselves things that we like about ourselves, and that others have seen in us, during the times we don't believe them. Make it a habit, like brushing your teeth every day.

Because you're not going to Feel like it every day, due to the actual bipolar illness. But if it is a habit, you will find it easier to do when things are bad.

And it really does affect our thinking, overall. Until we See the things we couldn't see before. And eventually we Become the person we couldn't see before. :)

per se per se per se