I have been on disability for about 5 years and I tried working about 6 different times and went to the hospital about every job I had I went into psychosis. My doctor told me to stop trying to work and get on disability. I will just be honest with you it's not easy not working or being productive. You will have loads of free time to think about things and that's my major problem. It's not easy.. You seem like you would be qualified for maybe a different job. Have you thought about just a career change? I would explore those options before opting to go on disability.

Going out on Disability, after a lifetime of working and supporting yourself , is hard.

I can hear your fear and frustration about the whole situation.

All I can recommend is to work on acceptance .
You worked, you put into the system, and now you need help.
This is OK !

Adjusting to a new lifestyle , finding a new focus for your life will be important .

Try not to beat yourself up over a situation you did not create ...you are sick, and your disability is justifiable

Wishing youthe best

Thinking about suicide is NOT suicide.

I would suggest you talk this over with your Pdoc.

Maybe you need a med tweek, as this may ease up on the depressive feelings

Going onto disability is very stressful in itself but working for me is much worst. I ended up hospitalized yearly from working stress and haven't once I stopped working.

But it is worth it, once you get past the initial bs.

I have been on disability for 10 years and after the initial adjustment, which was difficult, I am okay with it.

We DO put way too much stress on defining ourselves by what we "do". I have learned to adjust my perspective in this department. What I do is not traditional... I don't work. But I do live a very fulfilling life. I'm getting married soon to a man I love with all my heart. I have pets I delight in. I am a good friend. I have many things I enjoy - reading, cooking, horseback riding. These are all things I do and who I am, to a certain extent.

What I cannot do is work a traditional 9-5 job. My disorder gets in the way every time and I end up very sick. I do a little pet sitting on the side, cash and under the table. It brings in a little extra money and does add some confidence, as I know these people I work for value me and trust me with a very important responsibility. Other people I know do things like a little babysitting, run errands for the elderly or housebound, sell crafts they enjoy making, or even volunteer. It is not the end of the world to be on disability.

Hi Divine,

I have been on disability since 2009. I went from a very high stress job working 60hrs a week and a commute to doing nothing. It took a very long time adjusting. It is hard, very hard and like nickpc I tried like six times and I fell back into depression. The doctor and SSDI said no more full time. I'm glad however I took time for healing and getting my meds as good as they can be for now, focusing on myself. It is possible to change careers if you feel the time comes or work part time. I was disappointed too, as dancingd says, acceptance.

Thanks everyone, I guess I will adjust. Righn now I juat want to cry and sleep which is as much the Bipolar as the situation. Thank you though for letting me know it isn't the end of the world.

I think I'm the old lady here. I got my disability in 03. I was in the phospital for 3mths when the turd hit the fan and my employer and I parted ways. (I actually had the choice of leaving the company or taking a lower management position)

I cried and cried and cried. I suggest not staying in bed even the first week because it easily becomes the second week then the third then the hospital. The hospital I was in told my roommate I needed a therapy dog before going home. So I walked into my apartment and came face to face with my mothers 6yr old beagle. lol

Here I am 20 yrs later. I have volunteered with the literacy volunteers and at a day program for Alzheimer's patients and I was in a day treatment program (I hated because im not a in person person) . As I got stable I tried working through a program in my state that rehabs disabled persons. Now the same agency is helping me look into taking classes to finish my BA I have 3 crochet projects going and I still have a therapy dog who is young and I'm training.

I've bored you enough I'm sure so here is my point. You don't have to work to be productive. You take on projects and force yourself to do something. Do not give in to the depression because the worse it gets the harder it will be to pick yourself up. Love your family with all your heart because that is the only job we have with them. Love yourself enough to work hard with your therapist or find one if you don't have one. And allow yourself to have your feelings and work through them for as long as you need. there is no shame in crying or grieving.

You'll get used to the change. I've only been on SSDI since November 2012. Had been on unemployment since I lost my job in November 2009. I'd apply for jobs like I was suppose to. In all that time nothing. In my heart I knew if I did get hired it wouldn't last.

I must admit it gets boring. Have to find things to entertain myself and keep my mind busy in a positive way.

In the end you'll be fine. It will be a huge relief.

I've been on SSDI since 2007. Keep hoping that I don't receive a call for a review. I don't work any more. Since I'm in the house a lot, I find that the pots and pans will listen but they don't talk back.

I am grateful for the state funding. At first I felt like a failure because I couldn't work anymore but I realize that I'm not a failure. I have to deal with what I have. Trying to deny my illness only causes me frustrations.