Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm going crazy, well not really, but close enough.
Towards the end of september my sister finally left her abusive husband (hopefully this time for good), so now she's doin the single mom thing. Since she's working full-time, I have been dupped the official babysitter of my two nephews, ages 3 and 5. I watch the youngest five days a week, roughly 9 hours a day. the oldest is there as well before and after school.
Due to the very confusing and tramatic home life they've been exposed to in the past, their behavior is less than pleasant, but they're getting better.
here's the problem. I'm losing my mind. I love my nephews, but truthfully, I don't like children, never have because its hard for me to deal with someone I can't rationalize with. Now I'm waking up at 7 in the morning (which due to my insomnia means I'm running on about 3 hrs of sleep) to care for two howler monkeys who demand constant attention and throw temper tantrums at the flick of the switch.
With me being the only one there for them during the day it's like I've become a second mom. Hell, both of my nephews often slip and actually call me "mommy". I'm doing everything a parent does; cooking their dinners, helping the five yr old with his homework, cleaning their laundry, keeping them entertained, and trying to combat the harmful and destructive behavior they picked up from their father.
I'm beyond the point of exhaustion. In less than two months I now have white hairs popping up all over my head. My entire body is visably shaking all of the time and my mind is so scattered it's sometimes difficult to form sentences that make sense. My tolerance level is so low that earlier today when the 3 yr old started screaming and crying because I turned off the tv I had to fight hard not to start screaming and crying too.
I don't want to stop helping my sister. She's doing her best and really doesn't have anyone else to turn to, but at this rate I don't know how much longer I can last.
I actually have daydreams about being a 22 yr old runaway!If ever I needed more proof that motherhood is NOT for me, this did it. HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS ALL OF THE TIME?
Towards the end of september my sister finally left her abusive husband (hopefully this time for good), so now she's doin the single mom thing. Since she's working full-time, I have been dupped the official babysitter of my two nephews, ages 3 and 5. I watch the youngest five days a week, roughly 9 hours a day. the oldest is there as well before and after school.
Due to the very confusing and tramatic home life they've been exposed to in the past, their behavior is less than pleasant, but they're getting better.
here's the problem. I'm losing my mind. I love my nephews, but truthfully, I don't like children, never have because its hard for me to deal with someone I can't rationalize with. Now I'm waking up at 7 in the morning (which due to my insomnia means I'm running on about 3 hrs of sleep) to care for two howler monkeys who demand constant attention and throw temper tantrums at the flick of the switch.
With me being the only one there for them during the day it's like I've become a second mom. Hell, both of my nephews often slip and actually call me "mommy". I'm doing everything a parent does; cooking their dinners, helping the five yr old with his homework, cleaning their laundry, keeping them entertained, and trying to combat the harmful and destructive behavior they picked up from their father.
I'm beyond the point of exhaustion. In less than two months I now have white hairs popping up all over my head. My entire body is visably shaking all of the time and my mind is so scattered it's sometimes difficult to form sentences that make sense. My tolerance level is so low that earlier today when the 3 yr old started screaming and crying because I turned off the tv I had to fight hard not to start screaming and crying too.
I don't want to stop helping my sister. She's doing her best and really doesn't have anyone else to turn to, but at this rate I don't know how much longer I can last.
I actually have daydreams about being a 22 yr old runaway!If ever I needed more proof that motherhood is NOT for me, this did it. HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS ALL OF THE TIME?
l'd basically run them ragged instead of it being me and keep them entertained in places and ways that l enjoyed too. every tuesday was park day etc etc if you're taking on the roll of a childminder better to try to enjoy than go nuts. Having said that if you cannot take the strain if this really is not for you even though you love your sister dearly you need to say something.
What would she do if you cracked up!! so say saomething now, yes she will be disappointed and feel anxious about finding child care but if you could manage mon and fri she only needs to pay for 3days and you get a break. You need to say something to her today just to let her know whats coming so it doesn't come as a complete surprise give her until after christmas. Make sure she really hears you and don't be put off by her disappointment no one wants to see you getting ill.
Sounds to me like you need some help?
If I didn't have my wife I would be under the same stress you are....\
Is that an option for you?
As for getting help watching them, I currently live with my parents once more and they try to help out. Unfortunately my da is at work all day and my mom works nights so she's sleeping while the boys are here. It takes alot of energy just trying to keep my nephews quiet so she can sleep. I try to explain that "mommom is sleeping because she has to work tonight" and have them go in their "playroom" or out back if they want to be loud, but they're young so about every ten minutes I have to remind them and hope she hasn't been woken up again.
Alas, we live in the suburbs and there really isn't anywhere I can take them. There's only one park in the area, but its difficult to get to. I don't have a car and I'm lacking the money to bring them places even if I could get them there. They're as stuck here as I am.
I have talked to my sis and she's said that she's trying to get the 3 yr old in daycare, but since she's as broke as I am it could take awhile...
Anyway, thanks for your responses and suggestions, but I have a quick question. I've noticed so aggressive behavior from the boys towards our cats. They often throw things at them, hit them and pull on their limbs. On at least two occassions I've found the 3 yr old with his hands or strings around their necks. I've yelled and lectured
the boys about it, but I'm concerned about leave them alone with the cats. Is this normal child behavior or should I be worried?
The five yr old is getting counselling already and he's been improving. I'll talk to my sis about trying to get the 3 yr old in it too. Untill then I guess I'm making a new rule: hurt the cats and its the time out chair for you.
I just wish things like counselling didn't cost so damn much, that only makes it harder.
Thanks for the advice.