Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
My Mom is possibly well known to you all as the hoarding, shopaholic that she is. Manipulative, horrible, unhelpful and just....uggghhh!!!
I hate to say it, but I'm just about at my breaking point here. I am having some serious homicidal thoughts about killing my Mom. How many different ways I could do it...and the ways that would make her suffer more. She has/is making my life the worst it has ever been, and putting me on a guilt trip the whole way through. If she were dead, I would have no problems at all....except having to clean up her hoarded mess.
I can't get into too much detail b/c it wouldn't hold your attention for long enough to tell the whole story, but she is making me and my children miserable. I want her to die...and at this point, I wouldn't put it past myself to do it myself.
I hate to say it, but I'm just about at my breaking point here. I am having some serious homicidal thoughts about killing my Mom. How many different ways I could do it...and the ways that would make her suffer more. She has/is making my life the worst it has ever been, and putting me on a guilt trip the whole way through. If she were dead, I would have no problems at all....except having to clean up her hoarded mess.
I can't get into too much detail b/c it wouldn't hold your attention for long enough to tell the whole story, but she is making me and my children miserable. I want her to die...and at this point, I wouldn't put it past myself to do it myself.
work on detaching..letting comments wash over you rather than taking them on & reacting. Or earplugs.
These idealizations you are obsessing over are understandable....
I wish you could just find a good place to live NOW and get her out of your life so that you can distance yourself away from her....
Don't do anything stupid HAnna.
You obviously need a break from your mom to get your mind in perspective and that may be hospitalization. It's no different than suicide. If you have a plan and are thinking of carrying out that plan, you need to be in the hospital.
Once in the hospital, you and the social worker can go find you other housing.
I know this is not the answer you were looking for but you do need help right now very clearly.
(((Big Hugs)))
Living with a hoarder is awful awful awful. My next door neigbor is a packrat and her daughter is a hoarder. My next door neighbor when I lived in a house was a hoarder. My shrink says curing a hoarder is verv very difficult. I worry about you Hanna Hanna. You do what you think is best.
Does the town have a shelter?
Hugs
it's not all you and you don't have to freak out about this to the point where you really do something to damage your life.
this is life damaging for you, where you are staying-obvious-just get outta there!
I am doing my damnedest to move out ASAP. SSDI doesn't quite pay enough for me to move out immediately and Mom isn't making it any easier. She plays a whole lot on my self respect.
Thanks again all. I'm doing all I can.