So I posted my story on a reply to someone else. Thought maybe I would get a response but then I forget, I am in a totally different time zone to everyone else here I am sure. I live in South Africa so I am nearly 8 - 12 hours ahead of everyone else.

Anyway, this is what I wrote again:

Hi, I have just joined the group myself and sort of struggling with the same story where we have been through a bunch of medications but none of the combinations have been very successful. I eventually had enough and went off everything and then I got severe anxiety and depression. I went to see a new doctor. So now I am back on meds, Epitec. Still in a depression because they can't give me an anti-depressant because the Epitec level is still too low and an anti-depressant would send me manic. So it is a bit of a long road to recovery and I also still suffer from anxiety and take Xanax and Pax. And I have insomnia so I take Zopiclone and Dopaquel. I go the pharmacy with a shopping trolley!

But I have also decided to tackle the problem with psychotherapy in hope that I can reduce my reliance on medication. CBT is supposed to work well for Bipolar. I don't know why but my psychologist calls it DBT now.

Getting the meds right is such a horrible and long trial and error process. I am struggling with depression right now because like I said I can't take anti-depressants. I joined the forum for a little support because I have very little friends and I cry a lot.

hi and welcome to the board. Unfortunately unless you are very lightly touched by the bipolar fairy's magic wand you will need the meds. Therapy for some can help with issues around it but it is no real treatment.

DBT is Dialectic Behavioural Therapy which is different to CBT. It's used to treat Borderline Personality Disorder (among other things) which looks like Bipolar in some ways.

https://psychcentral.com/lib/an-overview-of-dialectical-behavior-therapy/

You are in the right place, Angel. I'm glad you reposted your story because, even if it was polite to co-opt somebody else's thread for your own introduction, it wouldn't allow for easy registry or dialog. Creating your own thread for the job was a most excellent move. We are an in international community here. I bet there are quite allot of members in your time zone. Then there are the night owls and insomniacs from the other zones. The rest of us will catch up when we can.

I was able to use psychotherapy to reduce my reliance on meds. I am currently med free, but have no qualms with the idea of going back on meds, should the need present. I have zero doubt that using meds early on helped me make better use of the psychotherapy. Don't accuse me of experting, but I often see CBT and DBT joined by a slash. I treat them like synonyms. I look forward to hearing your experience with it, by whatever name.

Welcome aboard, Angel. Hope you find stabilizing companionship here.

Arfie, for clarification seeing as you said you are ok without meds, your own diagnosis of bipolar is in doubt, is that right or am I confusing you with someone else?

I'm just seeking the qualification because when someone says they are med free and definately bipolar that is different from someone who perhaps isn't bipolar and med free.

I'm sure you can understand the sensitivity around this given some of our tragic losses of members after going med free.

Further groveling apology Mister Fish.

Leaving your forum now.

This isn't about you Arfie. This is about being careful that we don't validate the idea that people with bipolar can be fine without meds. There are a few that can, but most can't.

By posting on this board and making a statement that you are able to do without meds when it seems you are not bipolar (I don't know either way) is misleading.

We believe that some members have been influenced by others on this subject with disasterous results.

Can we leave it at that and get back to the OP.

Yeah. I tried med free because I was over- medicated and wanted to try go without. No, it didn't go well. Hence me in a depression, building the meds slowly back up. But it's also about trying to find the right combination for me which I've been struggling with for years. Got a new doctor. She sounds like she has a good plan for me so fingers crossed.

So I'm depressed and my husband works as a barman in a restaurant. During busy season he works practically every night. Like from next Monday he's working 9 nights in a row. Now I work normal 9 to 5 so we don't see each other as he works 4.30pm till 12.00am. I feel so alone at those times that it almost hurts. Why I need him specifically I haven't figured out yet. I don't have many friends. He is my everything so when he's physically not the I almost feel completely alone in this world. So strange I know but it's the depression. It's irrational. So I'm going to be talking a bit in the forum when he's working, with you guys. Make some new friends

Welcome to the board Angel..... It's great that you're addressing the depression.... That's the spectrum that I lean to as well

This is a good place to come.... Big hug.....xo

Hi Angel. I’m pretty new here as well and also new at taking responsibility for my diagnosis, getting a long delayed med check with a psychiatrist and getting an increase in my dosage of Seroquel. In addition I am starting therapy.

If you are Diagnosed BiPolar, med-free doesn't work, unfortunately it takes chemicals to correct the chemical imbalance in the brain that is BiPolar Disorder. I'm glad your giving your meds a go again. I believe you said you're on Epitec, which is Lamictal here in the States....correct me if I'm wrong. It can take a little while to get your dose to the therapeutic level, but hopefully when they do they'll be able to add to your cocktail and get you a more rounded level of stability.

I also read you were seeing a Therapist which is the 2nd step in managing this Illness, there is a different though in CBT and DBT, both are helpful but DBT can be very helpful for those with BiPolar Disorder. Mindfulness can be a bit harder to grasp for some, but when you do, it can help get you out of the anxiety, stress and depression.

I hope you find folks here to talk with and gain support from.

Take care,
Kat

I changed doctors because I was on Seroquel before and I picked up weight and I have such insecurities about my weight and especially about my stomach. I have IBS and I bloat pretty much every day. I put all my weight on my stomach and I was asked if I was pregnant all the time and it really depressed me. So there was the trade off between being balanced mood-wise and feeling good but also depressed because of my weight and my insecurities. In the end, the depression about my weight won and I went off Seroquel. I went to gym and pushed hard and lost all that weight and gained good muscle and am in the best shape I have been in since I was in my 20's and I feel so good about my body. But ever since then, we have never found another drug that balanced my mind as well as Seroquel did. I tried Abilify as well but it didn't do anything. After Seropquel, I started getting severe insomnia and anxiety which I never had before, my periods stopped and my body was all messed up after coming off that med and hasn't come right since. After coming off all the meds, I went back to my old doctor and he basically said to me that he could only offer me Seroquel again or I would just not get better. On top of that, he offered Toplep to counter the weight gain which can make you stupid at high doses. So I was faced with being pregnant looking and fat and stupid or depressed and anxious and messed up. I was between a rock and a hard place so I went to get a second opinion.

The new doctor put me on Epitec first just to see how it worked on it's own and is basically trying to get me off all the other sleeping tablets and anxiety tablets that my old doctor prescribed as they are highly addictive. She is going for the minimalist approach which is think is good so we know what is working and what is not. It is a slow road as I am only on the Epitec or Lamactil as you call it for now. I see her again in a week and maybe I get to get an anti-depressant which would really be awesome.

I have let myself go a little with the gym thing and comfort eating a bit so I have picked up a kg or two but it's ok because it is not medication weight and I can lose that at the gym in a month. Just to tell you, I am 5 foot tall so 1 kg makes a difference to my waistline.

Anyway guys. It's Friday and I am feeling relatively good! Hope you guys are too. It's the weeeekeeeeeennnnd!!!!