Ask your Doctor about Geodon and Depakote -- as two drugs that might help you. You need to get on some sort of medical insurance -- Good luck.

Medically, everyone is different. Don't start with others' recommendations when talking with your doc. You might want a visit, soon, with your doc, but that's your decision. Do you want to be better?
My answer used to be nearly always "wtf does it matter anyway?" but I've decided to clear that bit of internal horror and live life with absolute abandon.
Do not take my guidelines as any sort of advice. I no longer use fear as any sort of self-controlling mechanism. I've chosen to allow myself to experience life, and participate in others' lives, as if it were always my last chance. I'm going to fly or have one hell of a ride falling. I want to find out who I can be, by following what i think I can be. I doubt that makes much sense, but it's become this bipolar fellow's new outlook. Go forward, into that dark night, know there probably isn't light, but a flint and steel and a bit of dead grass can make your one when you get there. Be anew

Hi Sania. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. This is horrible stuff to try to navigate alone. Sharing the load -one for all and all for one- lightens to load for everybody.

I, strictly personal, don't believe there are one-size-fits-all or one-stop fixes for these problems, but we can get by and even find comforts and joys in the sharing, one confusion at a time.

Welcome to DS.

I use lithium and it controls mania but does nothing for depression. Oh well. An anti-depressant can help so talk to your doc. As far as I'm concerned suicide is a losing proposition so I hope you get over that.

I agree that you should go to your doctor, period. If you're new to this, and it is rough at times, you need his/her one-on-one help. It sometimes takes different combinations, but again, I think you owe it to yourself to start with that plan. This is a great group for support and information. I'm a relatively new member who not too long ago at all was diagnosed after years of not being correctly diagnosed. The people here care and are very smart about BP ~ after all ~ we are the BPs.

Medication and therapy are the only thing that keep me here but everyone is different and their needs are different. I hope you can talk to your doctor about what medications might help you as this depression thing can be so overwhelming. I don't think anyone with bipolar disorder can go without any medication and have long term stability but that is just my opinion. I also think that therapy plays a really important role in our recovery and is a great place to land when feeling suicidal. I hope you get it figured out and do what is best for you!! Just don't ever feel alone, we all understand and are here for you! Hugs.

Hi and welcome to,the board...I, think you should make an appt with your doctor..
He or,she can go over your medication...another stabilizer may work better..
Big hug...xo