Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm pretty fucking sick of who I am right now.
All I can bring myself to do is be here at the computer, typing away this fucking bullshit that no one wants to or needs to read. My sleeping pattern is off, so I'm going to be up through the night, and right now I struggle to know when would be best to have a drink and something to eat? I mean, most people fucking eat when they're hungry and drink when they're thirsty......it's not rocket science right?
It's pathetic. I feel pathetic.
I torment myself because of a romantic relationship that ended last June.....well, not just because of that, but that is one of the big ones. One suicide attempt and three trips to hospital later, I feel I've taken too many steps back and just want to call it quits. Yet I have people that love me........so.....gotta stay alive for them right? Wouldn't want them to feel guilty or be totally alone. Yet I feel totally alone....and tormented.....that's the gift of an over-active imagination for you.......it can conjure up the cruellest of things in the mind to torture you with.
They say I have a lot to offer.....yet this is what it amounts to. I tear myself apart inside, secretly wanting help from just the right person.....but it has to be me who helps myself.....and I would rather execute myself.
All I can bring myself to do is be here at the computer, typing away this fucking bullshit that no one wants to or needs to read. My sleeping pattern is off, so I'm going to be up through the night, and right now I struggle to know when would be best to have a drink and something to eat? I mean, most people fucking eat when they're hungry and drink when they're thirsty......it's not rocket science right?
It's pathetic. I feel pathetic.
I torment myself because of a romantic relationship that ended last June.....well, not just because of that, but that is one of the big ones. One suicide attempt and three trips to hospital later, I feel I've taken too many steps back and just want to call it quits. Yet I have people that love me........so.....gotta stay alive for them right? Wouldn't want them to feel guilty or be totally alone. Yet I feel totally alone....and tormented.....that's the gift of an over-active imagination for you.......it can conjure up the cruellest of things in the mind to torture you with.
They say I have a lot to offer.....yet this is what it amounts to. I tear myself apart inside, secretly wanting help from just the right person.....but it has to be me who helps myself.....and I would rather execute myself.
hugs and puppy kisses to you
I am sorry you have to go through this. I stay alive for my daughter only. She is a teenager and sometimes the way she acts I think she'll be better off without me, but deep inside I know that's not true. But I don't get much love from her.
As you know we have to help ourselves with the same brain that causes our problems to begin with! But hopefully with help from the medications and therapy, life can be tolerable and at times happy.
Keep your head up and remember this too shall pass.
I have nothing but admiration for the people who find what it takes to work hard enough in order to get to a more ideal place within themselves, instead of this kind of self loathing.
At least someone was glad for this ;)
Things seem to be so much more real and biger than before.It was a shock to go tru what I experienced .I read in a book by a professior that has bp and she said meds can bring you back to reality but dont give you the ability to cope with it.
Thats how I feel everything is to real for me.
My pdoc said I lost my self confidence wich is causing to see my life in a negative light