Thank you so much Angela.. I will do exactly that.. I have a few books on it and will check this one out too.. however, even to save our marriage I repeatedly tell him to make time for us to work on a book that will help us and he makes a big deal of it when I am ready to leave.. until then.. he ignores the book.. full of dust now.. honestly he just doesnt have time for me.. not to sit with me more than a couple mins a day.. and I am lucky if he does that much.. he doesnt consider that he shares his space or time with me in any facet.. will park the car in the middle of the driveway with no consideration that I will need to park along side of him, doesnt consider me if he goes out to eat and will even bring home something for himself for later but nothing for me. Honestly, well forget it.. I just feel like name calling right now and that wont get me anywhere.. I just don't know why I'm still here except that I am unable to go anywhere. I don't feel very emotionally stable right now. Not at all.

I believe and agree with many that bipolar has a biological/genetic component.

But I do have to say that enviroment in my case has definitely aggravated it. I have a NOS personality disorder diagnosis as well (borderline personality traits as one of those). Because I was adopted I have had an issue with abandonment all my life ( along with other painful issues like having a void I couldn't fill and having to live with never knowing certain facts about my biological background) which has irritated and complicated my bipolar.

I think everyone has important issues that come out of our enviroments that can add to the distress of bipolar disorder.

how do those thing effect your bipolar?? I am curious because I have similar issues.. not adoption.. but I lost my father to suicide when I was 11. That and several other issues.. like moving more than 40X when I was a child and losing belongs and things like this has caused abandonment issues and even a lack of putting much importance on anything that I own.. after all it can always be taken away. I am just curious how these things might effect my BP?

I have battled this issue many times and felt how you felt, that I didn't have bipolar and it was just how I reacted to my environment. what is forcing me to come to terms is the havoc bp has wrecked on my life, I can no longer dispute it to myself or anyone else; I have a problem. I agree that its normal to have highs and lows in life, everyone does, but with bipolar you have to look at how extreme your actions are and how they are affecting your functioning at life. Normal people are able to function without hi's and lows making them feel on top of the world or depressions making them suicidal. I think it is the extreme on either end that means we have a problem. So I guess just look at your life, honestly, and see how it has been affected since you started having symptoms. It sucks, I know, and denial is totally understandable. I slip in and out of denial frequently myself, but it is usually on days where "I feel fine" or at least think I do. Also, keep in mind that having a mental illness can impair your insight to your actions and behaviors as well, denial is often what complicates treatment with bipolars.

I believe bipolar maniests itself due to genetics as well as enviorment.

Thanks Butterfly.. OK.. so in the end I guess that really is the answer to the question.. I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond last night.. it was the episode where Deborah tries to write a children's book. Well, she ends up at wits end and has quite a hissy fit.. I was thinking.. so.. how is that different from me.. and certainly I NEVER considered that the character was supposed to have BP. In fact I believe they try to make her character as healthy as possible. Anyway, now I see the difference. I have a hissy fit (that's fine) but then I will spin on it and spin on it for the day or even much longer.. could be many days.. and it will paralyze me from being productive in any way.. it steals my life.. and honestly something about spinning in that crap actually FEELS GOOD to some degree to me.. which intellectually I know can't be good.. ok new family.. lol Help me out here.. What is next? What meds are likely to help with this type of thing? And what do you do, if anything to stop it.. OR EVEN WANT TO stop it. Right now I am on a spin for probably the longest I have ever had one.. and I stand by my feelings still.. it feels like if I get off the spin that I am accepting the behavior of others without argument.. (I know and can reason that isn't the case) but I STILL want to make my point that its unacceptable. Please advise.. How do you WANT to move on?

Abandonment issues can influence personality disorder traits atleast in my part. Borderline personality Disorder in and of itself is very dysregulated. It can be hard to tell the two disorders apart. I believe with borderline events, people, situations, attitudes, cognitive thinking errors TRIGGER dysregulation on a moment to moment basis. This can really aggravate a delicate bipolar condition..since bipolar really leans on having a stable enviroment to manage. If your not in a stable enviroment to begin or don't know how to stabilze your enviroment for bipolar you run the risk of dealing with constant dysregulation anyways.

I think people have mixtures of disorders alot with bipolar like definitely anxiety issues that bipolar has rightly brought on. It can be very complicated.

i think to really simplify it in "normal"(for lack of a better word) emotions and reactions they dont go as far out as having mania and deep depression on the end of each spectrum. they cope.where we go into these many many ranges of emotion that are considered pathological. we re all okay though!!!!

I think when ones behaviour is beyond the norm.. Extremes that effect your life in negative ways it's time to find out why...
Everyone gets depressed at times.. that's the norm.. but when someone is in the pit of despair that isn't normal..
Have you had psychosis?....suicidal thoughts.. intrusive thoughts.. ptsd is something else again...perhaps you could ask your doctor why you have this diagnosis.. what symptoms has he/she seen in you..
Welcome Rober!.. this is a great site..x

Thanks everyone for your replies.. I think I did find my answer.. the truth is that I spin in an emotional situation where others can just move on in so much shorter of a time. Also, I don't think other people get kind of physically paralyzed by their emotions.. me.. when I am tied up in something emotional I can do nothing but deal with that.. and when it goes on for days it means that its robbing me of my life.. I need to get that fixed.. what I was hoping was to find out what KIND of drug is it that works on that? Would it be a mood stabilizer? Questions to answer.. been diagnosed with personality disorder and find the phrase demeaning.. another doctor even went so far as to say he didn't believe in Personality Disorder and that its some Psychiatrists way of branding you as an ass hole.. yes he said exactly that. So I guess that is having an influence on me as well. I think that I have been in psychosis a couple times in my life but I have been fortunate.. never actually was seen during the episode and would have denied that it was anyway.. do you think I am now? LOL guess I have to wonder why you asked? As far as suicide.. my father committed suicide as a result of his bipolar. Today would have been his 65th birthday.. anyway.. yes.. can't help but think of it.. so far not drawn up any elaborate plans though to make that happen and quite honestly though I want all the pain in my life and body to stop I don't really want to die.. afraid of it actually.. but just the same.. it enters my mind as a real option but the worst part of it is that I don't believe that many people out there would even care that I feel this way.. until its too late.. then.. well.. they would get over it.. either way.. I'm working on getting better and that can only be a good sign.. FOR TODAY.

Some people have bipolar because they have bottled up their emotions and suppressed their feelings. The begin to mask their life with substances and this creates a cycle of mania.

On the other hand, there are clear cut symptoms of Bipolar Disorder that are not sex, drugs, flying off buildings, etc.....

Although some of our problems do stem from childhood we do also need to take into consider the biological make-up of a person. One may be dealing with extreme adrenaline rushes that make them hypomanic. They may be hyper vigilant because they are schizoaffective. They may experience extreme depression and then be stable for a while when suddenly the cycle begins again.

If you are able to do the life review and be able to process your emotions and past behaviors, you are one of the lucky one. Be thankful and keep doing your life work.

best of luck,
Brian
http://www.progressivetransformation.blogspot.com

Thanks Brian.. LOL I needed that!

I know my friend who has the actual diagnosis of borderline on her chart ( instead of NOS personality ) was told by a doctor she has seen that that is something she really doesn't want on her record. My point is that I don't care if someone is considered an asshole if they are borderline or bipolar because we all have made mistakes and had serious emotional problems due to mental illness issues. That doctor was and is if still practicing unprofessional he should know the difference between a fact and an opinion.

I just want to say that I was blessed to be able to get into DBT (dialectial behavior therapy) and take the class for 5 years ,which is a standard therapy for anyone with borderline personality or traits of this. I encountered many types of people with many types of mental illness. Our class was amazing. We worked as supportive enviroment for each other to take action for peace in our lives. It is this class and it's skills that has literally saved my life and given my daughter a mother again.

Personality Disorder is just a word not a definition of who you are as an individual. I wouldn't have gotten into this lifesaving class without responding yes to questions stated to link me to borderline personality traits. These people I have known, which have been many, are genuine people who have been invalidated and just didn't have the skills they needed for wisdom and peace and had to be taught them. Nobody is perfect and we all still get triggered or have the pain of life to endure...which means we have to really work sometimes to get peace.

So anyways I wish you well and hope that you see more of a truthful reality about the personality disorders..especially borderline and maybe you can put to rest that mean spirited doctors words.

Take care now and I really wish you the best :)