Hi Roberlie, and welcome to DS. I don't have the answers but you make a really good point there.

Lord have mercy. Let me give this a try.

Well, I dont' know exactly. I do believe that there are certain biological or genetic markers that can influence the formation of bipolar. I do not believe that genetics is the end all and be all of bipolar.

I do think that mental illnesses are real. I do think that there are urges, behaviors and ways of thinking that are shaped by certain chemical imbalances of the brain.

However, I am a huge believer that a child's environment can influence behaviors and actions. In my family, for example, we have a genetic propensity for alcoholism, but because of the influence of education and distress, we all went to AA and learned new lifestyles and some got meds who needed it, but we changed the outcome of the propensity for the alcoholism (and drug addiction).

So, this next generation will know what to do if alcoholism shows up and also because of new ways of communicating and relating, they won't have to go and drink their sorrows away because they have theraputic tools to help them.

But, mental illness is beyond just genetics and there is a good side to mental illness--which is--often--an artistic bent, a creative bent, unique problem solving abilities, flexibility in mathematics and a greater sensitivity to spirituality.

I do see simliarities in behavioral patterns with my non biological sisters and brothers who have bipolar.

So, my view is in between this group and the Icarus Project. Yes, our genes play a factor and environmental issues play a factor and we are still responsible to some degree for our behavior BUT genetics isn't everything and we have rights and we know what meds work on us and what doesn't and Big Pharma DOES go too far and the mentally ill CAN have kids and I'm not eugenic.

That's just my opinion. I'm no expert.

But as far as support goes, Daily Strength is incredible. We are a family here and these people on here are truly awesome.

Thanks.. lol I think.. so you question if its just "who we are" rather than some kind of illness too?

Wow! Thanks Chorn for your indepth reply. I have many many bipolars in the family and also alcoholism.. though not myself. My father committed suicide as part of his being bipolar. I guess maybe I need to relearn bipolar all over again.. seems I have a lot of denial and need reconvincing.. my husband claims (yep I said claims because I don't see what he sees) that my bipolar is a problem.. but its always about when I get upset with him over very important issues, such as being treated fairly. He suffers from depression and anxiety.. a doctor told him that he is bp also.. which from what I have seen in my family he doesnt seem to fit the bill.. but I guess there are all kinds and I'm no doctor. Either way, I could be better medicated IF I felt I needed to be, and I don't.. but he does.. so I guess I'm looking for someone to talk to who can convince me that I need it and WHO DOESN'T HAVE A HIDDEN AGENDA.. such as blame it on me because I have an issue with them.. IE .. my husband.. he only brings up my bipolar when I take issue with him about his behavior.. never a discussion about just me..

i think bipolar sufferers tend to have a lot if personality traits in common because of the condition.

i think its a mixture, perhaps certain people are more vulnerable because of their personality and some develop bipolar because of their personality, and some may develop their personality because of bipolar. i think bipolarity is real and it's abnormal to never feel stable.
unless of course your idea of stability is instability.
i think there are social things we can do to improve the symptoms, like sleep enough, eat well, and relax etc but overall, i don't ever think that being this way is natural. does that answer it ? x

I guess I don't know what stable is.. so I can't say if it answers it or not.. honestly, with my life I've no idea.. I have seen that what I thought might be stability in other families turns out that they are as bad, worse or at least near as bad as my family and life.. seems that there is no such thing as someone who works 9 -5, has dinner, relaxes with the paper, and repeats the next day.. day after day without issue.. I am even beginning to think that what I thought was normal/stable for house cleaning isn't either.. seems that those who do have magically clean houses dote on them all day long.. they are slaves to it.. I just don't know what is stability.. what is normal.. I honestly think I am.. not that its ideal.. but nothing is perfect.. I think THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE ALL LIKE.. with a few variations.. but all in all.. people are just people, with emotions, with hot buttons, etc.. I still don't see what makes me different from others?

Hi toowritegina! LOL Yeah I know I was diagnosed.. I know I have trouble making it to work.. but the hard thing about that is that I am also chronically ill in other ways.. many other ways.. but I think you might have inevitably answered my question.. I get overwhelmed easily.. I have a type A personality that makes me really want to succeed and excel.. I do that and do whatever job I do well.. then take on too much.. AND FOR SOME STUPID REASON I CAN'T FIGURE OUT.. once I get to a certain level of whatever I am doing I want to abandon it!!! I have NO carry through.. I have all kinds of excitement and ideas.. (albeit a lack of energy to carry things out due to illness) but just the same.. I get so many ideas .. great ones too.. that its simply too much to stick to any one thing.. too much for one person to work with.. if you know what I mean. like a computer on overload lol

To me...it's a terrible disease that I am stuck with. When there is mania there is NO way of talking me out of something. Would a person without Bi-polar realize yes spending all your money on this great looking purse is a great idea? Maybe but they won't do it unless they have a shopping addiction and people do.

But Bi-polar is in a class all on its own. I was in denial until I started having mania all the time. I was REALLY up there and would do unspeakable things and NO this is NOT who I am or how I was raised. When I was down...which I am right now I start thinking about death and becoming a recluse. This again not something a "normal" person would think of.

We are different to say the least, we are special and above all smarter than the rest of the world because the tree outside my window told me so. (just kidding).

Good Luck and know that we might not have the right answers or the answer you are wanting to hear...but at least we listen and understand.

Hvnlymorning

Yep towritegina.. I know all about that.. but I don't think I am what you might call properly medicated right now.. or at least what is typical.. I am only on Cymbalta and frankly mostly the reason I take it is for FM although it is prescribed initially for my BP. I used to take depakote.. not on that now.. or anything else.. no mood stabilizers, no antipsychotics, or anything else.. which I think is why my husband uses this as his argument. I have trouble taking him seriously..

wow.. food for thought.. ok.. lets see.. (I love this talking with you.. you get me thinking.. fantastic!).. ok.. why am I here? and is it really denial? I am here because I was diagnosed years ago.. and I guess so long ago that I have lost my vision of what might be wrong.. like you say am I happy with the way I am.. well.. I guess to a degree I am.. I'm pushing 50 in a couple years and known about this for several decades lol.. so I guess I have learned how to DEAL with it to a degree.. But I do miss working.. but mostly I WANT TO RETURN TO WORK AND BE ABLE TO DO EVERYTHING I THINK OF.. I take on so much that I end up being able to do nothing.. in that way, its not satisfying.. I think you are right.. If I yell and scream because something has upset me.. and I don't feel heard.. I don't feel there is anything wrong with that.. I'm upset.. its when I can't function to do what I WANT TO DO that bothers me.

I was going to add that going through bipolar is indeed a journey. Like anything in life, itis a journey. There are successes and setbacks.

People have to tell me that I (I'm not yelling, just emphasizing) that I HAVE bipolar disorder, but I am NOT the disorder.

You are still who you are. And, being yourself is okay. So, Id say that if you learn you ablities and your limitations and .learn what works for you med wise, nutrition wise, spiritual wise and psychologically wise, you will be okay.

Management is the key. Management of the condition.

These folks who answer you are very smart and can help you a great deal.

CH

It took me 20 years to find--the right combo of meds--that just NOW work.

But not giving up--is important--never ever ever give up.

Thanks Churn.. :) LOL I'm finding that too.. the people hear are great! All of you have so much to share.. love the intelligence.. and wit.. lol.. MY PEOPLE.. hehe.. nice!

Something to be aware of. My husband blamed our problems on my bipolar for years. We went to marriage counseling about 7 years ago, when things were really bad. Interestingly, because I was on medication and under psychiatric care, she fingered him as the cause of our problems. She made him see a pdoc and he was diagnosed with major depression. He was put on 40 mg of Celexa, and it made a total difference to the way he saw me.

The other thing the counselor did was make him read "loving someone with bipolar disorder" by Julie A Fast and John D Preston. It helped him understand that my disorder was not directed or about him. The book helped me change a lot of things in my life. I highly recommend you get it, read it and give it to your husband.

Bipolar is real, it is not just a different way of coping, but I always like to feel it is what makes me "special" in a good way, of course.