YUP, I've been feeling that way since my dx, i cant tell you how many times Ive questioned everything the p doc was doing, its frightening, i dont like to think about it too much. Yea you are def not alone !!!!!!

I am sure there are people that feel like you do sweetie...........I havent felt that way. Therapy has always been a Godsend for me and I work hard when trying to learn coping skills and manage this disorder. I am always working toward something............setting goals with your therapist is a good start.

As for pdoc's, I am sure they know the meds and how each one interacts with the chemicals in our brains..........it is our brain they cant know for sure. They can only know what we tell them and based on the symptoms and interactions, make an educated guess at what might work. It would be wonderful if they had some kind of test to prove exactly what was going on in there so they would know exactly what to prescribe, heh?

Try to be patient............one step at a time. Hugs

I agree with the therapy issue. Don't see much use for it. My doc however I truly believe in and respect. He really knows this disorder and knows exactly how I am feeling before I do. Doesn't believe in over medicating and would like me talking to a therapist but doesn't force the issue. You just have to shop docs like you would pants.

Unfortunately Psychiatry is not an exact science and the pdocs don't know just how each patient will respond to each medication. It's a trial and error sort of thing. I'm sure they do their best with the symptoms and the responses to medications. It took some rearranging but I've finially found the right cocktail and have been on it for three years.

I'm very thankful for my therapist. I'm really starting to see an improvement since starting and it hasn't been all that long.

All in all I'm quite happy with my team. I do hope things improve for you. Sometimes it just takes time and patience......

You have to tell the doc everything. I just submitted 20 page document on my frustrations to the doc.

He'll read it and then he'll counsel me. But that's all he can do.

May be after that I'll feel like a guinea pig but not now.

hanna,we all pretty much go through the meds merry-go-round.

Since meds work so dfferently for each person...all your Pdc CAN do,is try different meds,until the right combo is worked out.

In the mean time,yep,we're pretty much a test lab rat.Not a fun thing to go through.

I went through 8 different meds in 1 yr...I didn't know if I was coming or going,it was a rough yr.

By the way,it takes an average of 10 yrs to find the right combo.

Shit...I've still got 7 years to find the right combo (statistically).

I understand that no one can actually know what is going on in my brain and how exactly to treat it...it's just as you've all said, time and patience. I guess i just don't have any patience right now.

I did ok for about 6 months and once i went back to work it all came crumbling down.

thank you all for your replies.

the first pdoc i had i really liked - granted, at that point my dx was simply unipolar depression (this was almost 20 years ago - which i think is before BP2).

anyway, he was a very rumpled short greying japanese man, with still a slight accent, & he was perpetually slouched. not at all what i expected. he would ask you questions as if he were about to start yawning - some might have thought that rude, but i thought his lack of "professionalism" kinda funny & endearing.

anyway, i liked him mostly because of what he said when he first met me. we were discussing medications, & he asked whether i thought i slept too much or not enough. i said definitely not enough (looking back, that may have been a tip-off), and he said good, now he has something to go on about what to prescribe. then he said "see, we really have no way of knowing what these things do. most of them were created for other purposes, & only later did we find some psycho-active properties. basically all we can for sure tell you is that some will make you sleepy, & some will keep you awake - that's it -eveything else is a crap shoot!" (or something like that - i'm paraphrasing a bit)

i trusted him from the get-go after that.

ooooh yes...my Dr's reaction when she heard l was put on depakote was....hmmm!!! not what you exactly want to hear. But l did learn a lot about bipolar from my therapy, triggers and what to look out for mainly

Shit I think sometimes I am smarter than my therapist.

And my doc asks me what I want for meds. How messed up is that?

better living thru chemistry is what i say, not. dd is right tho, it does take a long time to find find the combo that fits for you, took me damn near 7 years. now that i am more knowledgeable about the disease and medications it makes me be more of a team member with my pdoc.

I got lucky and found a pdoc who really understood the illness and, it seemed from the get-go, me. It took about two years to find the perfect combination for me, which I know is a short time, but like I said, I got extremely lucky.
During the times when experimenting, though, I never really did feel like a guinea pig, I just felt like he really knew what he was doing, even though they didn't work.
As for therapy, I feel like we're still in the beginning stages, even though I've been seeing him for months for it. I'm not impatient, but I just kind of wish we would get somewhere.

I know this is a bit off topic, but I figured I'd give a response from the "other perspective."

Big hugs to you.