I've had great success loading up on anti-psychotics. I've never used xanax but it's a minor tranquilizer. Anti-psychotics are major tranquilizers. I finally worked out that I should set my treatment goals and do what's necessary to achieve it. Don't trust everybody but trust somebody.

(((Hugs)))

take a breath, then another and another... this too will pass. xanax is good and taking it probably helped you. Hopefully once you get the meds stabilised you will feel somewhat better.

you are a good person and a valued member here. please remember that and be kind to yourself.

remember we all have bipolar disorder and sometimes the illness is reacting not us. big hugs to you.

Big hug for you sweetie... No one wants to make you a Zombie... Going inpatient takes all stress off of you other then getting stable again... Usually meds are started slowly and often one at a times so your doctor can see if there are any side effects and what meds might be having what effects
There is a ton of support while in the hospital (at least that's been my experience) and a place to address what's been going on in your life
I've had 2 hospitalizations for a few weeks each and they've made huge positive effects in my life... Another hug and a blessing...x

Because of hallucinations I'm on two antipsychotics, antidepressant, mood stablizer, 2 anti anxiety meds. So it may take a cocktail to get your moods under control but it is worth it.

Thank you all for your kind words. I ended up taking a couple of small Xanax doses from leftover medicine, and not going to CSU. My commitmentophobia is pretty bad lately and going into CSU's iffy even though I really, reaaaaaallly probably ought to.

I don't remember the support groups from my last visit because I slept the whole time. I'm easily triggered by certain things though, i.e. animal cruelty, misogyny. Those are the big two, and with psych ward patients, eh... there's no guarantee that your inpatient pals will be decent human beings and if there's even one major asshole there I'd feel less safe and would probably also get into a fight. So I'm reluctant to go, just to re-iterate I'm still counting on SSI and seeing a private doctor and private counselor.

I'm so irritable at this point that I don't think I'd be suitable for group counseling. But if worst comes to worst, I'd be ok with going to the local no-insurance CSU because it's really nice, I'm cool with the nurses and staff, and they don't force you to attend group the way Summit does.

You can effectively avoid anyone and anything there and also catch some zzzz's will your meds do their thing.

I need to start studying for the Compass exam though, seeing as I have to retake that. Might post about that later, I'll definitely be back in college this January thoooough.

Volataire you wrote that if you go in you can avoid everyone and everything and just catch zzz's

I found when I was in the hospital you get out of it what you put into it... There is in my experience a lot available within the hospital experience but you have to be willing to invest yourself

Meds only do so much and the rest is really up to us to work at it...It is really worth it ... It's great that you're thinking of therapy... I found therapy along with meds made the greatest difference... It does take some time though so it's important to have some patience

Big hug for you sweetie...x