45 minutes is getting close....let us know when you return...i hope it goes well....good luck....you know were here to support you...this sounds very frustrating

Yes the times is closing in on me and things don't look so good....can't control my crying here.......soooo upset. sigh

I do not deal well with being insulted and just plain lied to, too well at all!

I had to do what was right for me with my mother, father, and brothers. They were not good for me, my husband, or my children for several reasons that are justified.
Point is....sometimes you have to lose it in order to gain control. It has been 5 years since I said my goodbyes and haven't looked back since.
Good for you in having enough, and telling the truth instead of shoving it under a rug along with yourself to be stepped on repeatedly.
What you did takes real guts. Way to go.
I made a promise a long time ago that I was done with bullshit and being lied to, and hurt. I have been so much better since.

I wish you calmness, and peace within. I wish for the rest of them to have their pants filled with fire ants and their arms and hands be too short to take off their pants and scratch.

Well, whatever you do, GO TO THE APPOINTMENT!

Tell them what happened, and that you have been upset about this for quite some time, and that it took a lot out of you to tell her what you thought.

With pdocs, honesty really is the best policy. They can't help us if we're not honest. I hope you're not driving yourself there.

Let us know how it goes. I am proud of you for giving it to your step-mother. I think she needed to hear it.

Deeeeeeep breaths. Get a paper bag to breathe in if you have to.

xoxo

Thanks so much Kim.......appreciate it.

I'm trying to breath here, still going to appt but I am worried they are going to want me to go to damn hospital. I am not in to good space right now....not suicidal or anything just VERY upset.....

I have to drive nobody else around here does...but it's right arounf the corner so I will be ok.

Thanks again, will let ya know how it goes when I get back!

I'm with Kim sweetie make sure you go to your appt... You can explain why you're so upset... He won't put you in the hospital..
Sometimes things need to be confronted otherwise they just continue to fester..
I'm sorry you feel so hurt.. I know of a big betrayal and hurt you were caused a while back and I would have been very upset to..
Massive hug of comfort for you sista..xoxo

Love the ants in pants.


Thanks so much for wishing me well....appreciate it more than I can express....

Gotta run now and get this appt over with....sigh

This was posted an hour ago. I am in the Central Time Zone.

I don't know. When I cry, I normally go to the rest room and I sort of heave the hurt out and it is appropriate to wash one's face. Probably messaging the back would help, rub the face and breathe and then get "good and red" and wash the face and re-apply make up.

I like milk as a quick protein, that is if your stomach isn't too hot. If your stomach is hot and is in knots, then may I suggest a water and some titrelac or tums.


You can always say that it is morning and you need something to eat and to gather your thoughts. Any dysfunctional statement cannot be met with much if you just speak a general truth. Obviously, the entire time, your stomach may flip but SPRITE or some type of low sugar soda or sparkling water is helpful for that.

Sometimes, they enjoy watching you. Sometimes they just might be staring off into space or they "expect" some type of interaction. I always try to stay nearby or around the corner to keep my distance. If I have to, I will sit and watch the telly with them. It is most unfortunate when one has to bear the discomfort to gain comfort, but you do get stronger. Most of the time, if you can be strong, then they will have to *break* their control. Most assuredly, they are insecure and then will try to get you to "settle down."

Clarify. Keep topics simple. Be polite. Document any problems. Get a witness to sign anythign you need signed.

I'm not too knowledeable about laywers but I suppose you could retain one if you needed it or ask a brain on here about stuff like slander or emotional abuse and the like.

Keeping your cool until it passes though--is key.

IF this person is in the house with you, going out with lady friends for a couple of nights can help. IF you cant' do that, read a book outside for a bit or in your room. If you worry about them talking about you, I'd reccomend staying in a near room but remaining neutral. They will get tired and start talking about b.s. and then go to sleep normally. The more that you can be present but detached, the more that they will see that you are part of the family and the more that they will realize that they cannot have full control. They will also begin to think that you are adopting some of their controls and they will get off your back.

If or when you must adopt parts of their ways, only adopt the things that work for you. Don't go into anything that is utterly rediculous. Most of the time, if you can wait them out, you can regain basic control of your home without their b.s.

Control is done mainly by verbal use. On occaision, people will try tantrums and if they get paranoid, they might make a sudden move. If the situation warrants loosing control for a child's welfare, then you must cooperate. IF however, the tantrum is unfounded, then quietly stand your ground. This is easier said than done. Beleive me.

The tongue is often the main way-used to upset, coerce and or control the mentally ill person. BUT if you can understand the person's insecurities and imperfections and try to see compassionately what is wrong iwth them, then as you work on yourself, you can regain some control.

You can also formulate a legal document for your own wishes in differing situations. I will be doing this soon.

I hope that this helps. I am sending tons of love and prayer your way and I WILL be thinking of your situation for the entire day.

Agape love and mad friendship concern to you,

Achala

Time heals some b.s.

Truths of what happened will mix and some things will fade. In some instances, you will not know entirely what happened.

That which is beyond your control is often that which you must let go of. You can vent. When I am angry, I vent vent vent vent vent. I don't stop until all the anger is out.

Consequence does come upon toxic people and I have seen it.

It's--difficult but if you can take each day and each moment you can get to a point of dignity. Nobody can mess with basic dignity and simplistic living.

Yes, and keep the appointment.

take a deep breath. Count to ten and empty your mind.

Is there any reason you have to let all of your anger out right now?

Go to your appointment and don't think about it until it's over then you can get as angry as you want and let it all out.

i can't add to the good advise, but i want to say i'm really proud of you for standing up to someone who lied to you, and hurt you.

YOU KICK @$$ tats.

I'm with Mojo-Good job.

Hi Tats~~

You're probably at your appointment right now. I'm so glad you sucked it up and went. Hope it goes well and you have a chance to process this most recent issue with your stepmom. Keep breathing!!

Oh Deb I am sorry I wasn't online to chat with you. I hate in when I can't control my crying, I get so pissed that it takes over eveerything in my body and then I will cry. Just know that this will pass and that I am here and praying for you. Maybe this pdoc can help with some new insight. Take care and let me know how you are doing, I will check in when I get home tonight,