I wasn't going to tell you this but today I made the decision to leave the personal care home. Only problem is I'm so excited I can't sleep and I have to get up early here to take my meds and eat breakfast.
Caregiver From Hell is on duty and I know she'll complain about me keeping her awake (the living-room where the caregivers sleep is right below the bathroom I share with 4 guys,and I drink a lot of water because my meds make me thirsty,so CFH will be angry with me but I don't care. My own anger toward her and some of the other residents,I handle by just taking what they say and not responding,so I turn my anger inward and have had thoughts of self-harm. It may sound crazy,but I actually think that moving from here to a place of my own will save my life. (I couldn't ever stand up for myself because when I did,not long after I moved in,I was thrown into the hospital.)
This may sound crazy but CFH took the hand soap and my paper towels,which I put in our bathroom because it's been days since the paper towel dispenser was filled. I feel like she is doing stuff like this on purpose. But that's fine,the meaner she gets,the easier it will be to leave.